Should learning expectations be different for each child?

Absolutely. While fairness is vital, it does not mean treating every child exactly the same. Instead, it means recognising and honouring each child’s individual needs, pace, and potential. Children vary in how they absorb information, express themselves, and respond to challenge or encouragement. One may grasp a concept quickly while another needs more time and repetition. Some thrive on structured routines; others learn best with creative freedom. The key to effective parenting and education lies in adaptability, not uniformity.
Individualised expectations help children feel respected and safe. When learning becomes a space where they are seen and understood, rather than compared or measured against others, they are more likely to remain engaged and motivated. For instance, a child who processes information more slowly should not be labelled as ‘behind.’ Instead, they may benefit from visual aids, hands-on practice, or more time to reflect. On the other hand, a highly curious or fast-paced learner may need enrichment activities to stay challenged and stimulated.
Avoid using comparisons between siblings or classmates, such as ‘Your sister did this easily’ or ‘Why cannot you be more like him?’ These statements, even if well-intended, can damage self-esteem and create resentment. Instead, praise each child for effort, progress, and persistence. Celebrate their strengths and work gently with their challenges. Customised support helps children see learning as a meaningful, personal journey, rather than a race or a test.