Should I tell my child they are getting tested? 

Parenting Perspective 

Preparing Your Child with Simple, Reassuring Words 

Deciding whether to tell your child about an upcoming assessment depends on their age, understanding and personality. In most cases, it helps to prepare your child using simple, reassuring words instead of leaving them feeling confused or worried. 

Using Clear Language and Focusing on Positives 

Use clear but gentle language. You could say, “We are going to meet someone who wants to understand how your brain works and how to help you learn and play more easily.” Focus on the positives. Explain that the people they will meet want to know what they enjoy, what they find tricky and what makes them feel happy or upset. Reassure your child that there are no right or wrong answers. It is not a test they can fail. 

Managing Your Child’s Anxiety 

If your child feels anxious, let them know that you will stay with them as much as you can. Answer their questions honestly but keep it simple. Too much detail can make children feel overwhelmed. Your goal is to help your child feel calm, safe and included, rather than surprised or frightened. 

When you keep your child informed at their level, it shows them they are not being judged but supported. It also teaches them that needing help is nothing to hide. It is a step you take together as a family to understand what they need to thrive. Trust that your honesty and calm words will help them feel secure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to approach our children with honesty, gentleness, and hope, even when our worries feel heavy. When you tell your child about an assessment, you are modelling trust and compassion, showing them that you will always walk beside them through what feels unknown. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Isra (17), Verse 70: 

‘And We have certainly honoured the children of Adam… ‘

This Ayah reminds us that every child is honoured by Allah Almighty, regardless of any difficulty they may face. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

This Hadith Shareef teaches us that kindness, especially to our children when they are unsure or scared, is part of our faith. Make sincere Dua for the words that will comfort your child’s heart. Let them know that their worth in your eyes and in the eyes of Allah Almighty does not depend on what any professional says, they are loved, valued, and protected. When you share this step openly, you help your child see that seeking help is nothing to fear. Trust that with your patience, gentle honesty, and Tawakkul, your child will feel secure enough to walk this path with you, knowing they are never alone in this journey.