Parenting Perspective 

An apology is a valuable first step, but without a change in action, it can begin to feel empty. While not every situation requires a formal plan of action, it is important for children to learn that the most powerful apologies are those that are paired with some form of amends. This helps them to see an apology not just as words, but as a tool for repairing trust and strengthening relationships. 

Teach That Amends Strengthen an Apology 

Explain to your child, ‘Saying you are sorry is very important, but showing how you will make things better is what makes your apology truly strong.’ This teaches them that an apology is not just for their own relief, but is a responsibility to restore what was broken. 

Show Practical Examples of Amends 

If they break a sibling’s toy, a practical amend is to help fix it. If they have hurt someone’s feelings, a kind gesture or inviting them to play can help to repair the harm. Linking the apology to these clear, practical steps shows them how to turn their words into meaningful action. 

Encourage Small, Realistic Commitments 

A child does not need to create a complex plan to make things right. Even a simple, forward-looking promise, such as, ‘I will try to be fairer when we share tomorrow,’ helps them to practise accountability. Over time, these small efforts help to build a sincere and responsible mindset. 

Highlight Sincerity over Perfection 

It is also important to teach that some mistakes are small and do not require a detailed plan of action. In these cases, a heartfelt and immediate apology offered with genuine kindness may be more than enough. The key is the sincerity behind both the words and the actions. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true repentance (tawbah) requires more than just words of regret; it must be accompanied by a sincere effort to change and repair the harm done. This principle can help children to understand that a meaningful apology should, where possible, include making amends. 

The Path of Repentance and Reform 

The Quran reminds us that true repentance is a combination of belief and righteous work, and that this sincere effort has the power to transform past mistakes into good deeds. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 70: 

‘ Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds…’ 

The Duty of Seeking Pardon 

The prophetic tradition teaches us that making amends for any wrong we have done to another person is an essential part of true accountability, not just something to be put off. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 210, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever has wronged his brother with regard to his honour or anything else, let him seek his pardon today before a day comes when there will be no dinar or dirham to compensate’ 

By showing your child that apologies are strongest when they are paired with action, you are helping them to embody the Islamic value of sincerity. They learn that real responsibility means making things right, which is a lesson that will guide them in their family life, friendships, and their relationship with Allah.