Our child was sitting at the dining table while we argued in the kitchen. They stopped eating and went quiet. How do we undo the emotional impact of that scene? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, children absorb the emotional weight of a conflict even when they are not directly involved. Hearing parents argue, even from another room, can easily trigger anxiety, silence, or withdrawal. Your child’s reaction of stopping eating and going quiet was likely an instinctive attempt to brace themselves emotionally. Children are acutely attuned to tone, tension, and body language. While they may not understand the content of an argument, they instinctively register whether their environment feels safe or unstable. The most important step now is not to pretend the incident did not happen, but to repair the emotional rupture with calmness and clarity. 

Following such a moment, it is vital to find a quiet time to reconnect with your child, ideally not long after the event. There is no need to share the details of the argument; a gentle reassurance is what is required. You might say, “We were upset with each other earlier, but we are okay now. Grown-ups also have to work things out sometimes.” Afterwards, focus on restoring their sense of emotional safety through small gestures like sharing a story, having a laugh, or simply sitting close to them. Your goal is to demonstrate that tension does not mean the relationship is broken, and that love is not cancelled out by moments of stress. Privately, it is wise to work on reducing how often disagreements play out within earshot. Children deserve a home where conflict is handled maturely, not one where they are forced to absorb it. 

What to Say to Rebuild Safety 

• “I noticed you went quiet earlier. Were you feeling unsure about anything?” 

• “Even though we were upset, we still love each other very much, and you are always safe with us.” 

• “Sometimes adults use sharp voices, but it does not mean something bad is going to happen.” 

This approach helps to reframe the incident in your child’s mind, not as something to be feared, but as a real-life lesson in emotional repair. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was exquisitely mindful of how his words and moods affected those around him. Even in his private disagreements, he consistently upheld a standard of calm, dignity, and care, knowing that others, particularly the young and vulnerable, were always learning from his example. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 46: 

‘…And do not dispute (with each other) as it may weaken (your ranks), and would reduce your strength… ‘

This verse teaches that unresolved or unmanaged conflict drains the spiritual and emotional strength of a household. The goal, therefore, is not to avoid every disagreement, but to handle them in a way that preserves trust, calm, and collective strength. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

He is not one of us who is not merciful to our young and does not respect our elders. 

When we honour our child’s emotional space by offering reassurance and care after a period of tension, we embody this prophetic mercy. We show them through our actions that true strength lies not in hiding hardship, but in the courage to repair it with gentleness.