Our child spends more time with a nanny or grandparent than with us. What can we do to protect that parent-child bond? 

Parenting Perspective 

Time apart does not have to mean emotional distance. Even when other caregivers are very involved, you can remain the emotional anchor in your child’s life through intentional, consistent, and meaningful connection. 

Create ‘Relational Rituals’ 

Establish small but emotionally significant rituals that are unique to your relationship. This could be a special dua that only you recite together at night, a secret handshake, or a specific weekend morning routine. These predictable moments of connection become powerful emotional markers that belong only to you and your child. 

Maintain Emotional Presence When Apart 

Use simple tools to bridge the physical distance. A short video call before their bedtime, a voice note sent during their lunch break, or a hand-written message tucked into their school bag are all powerful ways to send the message: ‘Even when I am not with you, I am thinking of you’. 

Align on Values with Other Caregivers 

Ensure that your core parenting values are understood and respected by your child’s other caregivers. Have a gentle and collaborative conversation about your approach to discipline, manners, and daily routines. This consistency across caregivers creates a stable and coherent emotional world for your child. 

Prioritise Quality of Presence Over Quantity of Time 

When you are with your child, be fully present. Put your phone away, make eye contact, and let them lead the conversation or play. Ten minutes of your focused, undivided attention is far more powerful in strengthening your bond than an hour of distracted, half-present time. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the parent-child bond is a sacred, irreplaceable trust. While others can assist in care, the spiritual and emotional guidance of a parent is unique. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 14: 

‘And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination…‘ 

This verse highlights the foundational, divinely ordained role of parents, which can never be outsourced. It is a reminder that even when others are involved in the daily care of a child, the child’s heart remains spiritually oriented towards their parents. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the quality of our parenting is our greatest gift. 

It is recorded in Jami at-Tirmidhi, 1952, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘There is no gift that a father gives his child more virtuous than good manners.‘ 

This hadith reminds us that a parent’s impact is measured not by the number of hours they spend with their child, but by the quality of the character and values they impart. By filling your limited time with love, intentional guidance, and a beautiful example, you are giving your child the most precious and lasting gift of all.