Our child rarely sees us show affection for each other. Does that affect their emotional security, and how much affection is healthy to display? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of an Emotionally Sterile Environment 

Children learn about love not only by how they are treated, but also by seeing their parents’ relationship. When warm, affectionate, and compassionate connections between spouses are rare, children may develop an emotionally sterile or incomplete impression of proximity. Even if the house is tranquil, it may seem emotionally distant. 

Modelling Warmth and Connection 

Affection does not have to be dramatic or performative. Small gestures – a nice smile, a soothing tone, momentarily holding hands, saying “thank you” or “I missed you”, all help a child understand that love is more than simply duty; it is also connection. These small moments of affection provide the emotional backdrop for their world. When gone, children may become unclear of how close connections should feel. What is appropriate to show depends on the child’s age and the family’s cultural environment, but emotionally modest yet visually warm affection benefits children of all ages. It teaches children that love is compassionate, mutual, and continuous, not limited to private or formal events. Importantly, if affection between parents has become infrequent owing to stress or emotional distance, this should be handled not only for the sake of the child, but also for the marriage’s health. A child does not require flawless parents, but they gain greatly from watching two people who still treat one other with love and dignity in everyday life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam has never discouraged affection in marriage; in fact, it praises it. Love and gentleness between spouses are not only allowed but also noble, especially when they promote peace and mercy in the household. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This verse defines attachment (mawaddah) and mercy (rahmah) as divine gifts included in marriage. They are not intended to be hidden, but rather to shape the home’s environment. It is also recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1977, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives. ‘

This highlights the significance of affection and care towards and between the spouses, as it holds spiritual value when grounded in dignity. 

When a child witnesses loving interactions between parents, it fosters emotional security and demonstrates what a polite, compassionate relationship looks like. In that perspective, both faith and emotional well-being are passed along in a genuinely human, long-lasting manner.