One of us is very active online, and our child sees what we post. How do we model digital responsibility together? 

Parenting Perspective 

In an age where our digital lives are so visible, our online behaviour is a powerful and unavoidable form of parenting. To avoid sending mixed messages, it is crucial for both parents to align on a shared standard of digital responsibility. 

Acknowledge That Your Online Life is Part of Your Parenting 

The first step is to have a private conversation with your spouse, acknowledging that what you post is just as influential as what you say. If one parent models modesty and privacy while the other shares personal disputes or constant selfies, a child will receive a confusing and inconsistent message about what is acceptable. 

Agree on a Shared Digital Standard 

Approach your partner with a focus on your child’s wellbeing, not with personal criticism. You could say, ‘Since our child is now seeing what we post, can we agree on some family rules for our own social media use?’ Focus on shared values like dignity, modesty, and family privacy, establishing a few simple guidelines that you can both uphold. 

Use Your Platform for Good 

If one parent is more active online, encourage them to use that platform to model positive digital citizenship. This could mean sharing beneficial content, demonstrating respectful debate, or being open about setting healthy time limits. This shows your child that an online presence can be a tool for good, not just for distraction. 

Explain Differences in Style with Wisdom 

It is okay to have different levels of online engagement. If your child asks why one parent shares more than the other, answer honestly and wisely: ‘People have different ways of using the internet. What is important is that in our family, we all try to use it in a way that is respectful and pleasing to Allah’. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our dignity must be protected in both public and private, and our digital footprint is a direct reflection of our character and values. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 12: 

‘And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful…‘ 

This verse provides a powerful moral compass for our online conduct. It reminds us that behaviours like online gossip, oversharing private details of others, or engaging in public disputes are all violations of the sanctity and trust that a believer must uphold. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave a simple but profound filter for all our communication. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 47, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘And whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him say what is good or keep silent.‘ 

This beautiful hadith is the ultimate guideline for digital responsibility. It teaches us to ask a simple question before we post, share, or comment: “Is this good?” If the answer is no, then the more pious and dignified choice is to “keep silent” and refrain from posting. When both parents model this, they teach their child that Islam is lived consistently, both online and off.