My spouse says ‘Just ignore it’ whenever I raise concerns about extended family dynamics. But our child is watching. How do I make this a parenting issue, not just a marriage one? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unseen Lesson in “Family Drama” 

It is entirely appropriate for you to pause and contemplate the more profound implications, as what adults frequently dismiss as “mere family drama” can serve as the quiet soil in which your child’s views regarding fairness, boundaries, and self-worth develop. When a partner dismisses your concern with “just ignore it,” they not only quiet your emotional experience, but also minimise the very real modelling your child is internalising. This is not only about in-laws or marital compatibility. It is all about the environment your child is exposed to on a daily basis. 

Reframing the Issue 

To reframe the issue as a parenting matter, talk to your husband about your joint responsibility: “This is more than just me being upset. Our child is learning lifelong lessons about how we handle conflict, speak up, or remain silent.” Avoid presenting it as a demand for defence; instead, emphasise the long-term consequences: “I want our child to learn calm strength, not polite avoidance.” If extended family dismissiveness or overstepping is normalised in front of them, the child learns that certain discomfort must be tolerated and that some voices are less important. By shifting the focus from spousal disagreement to parental alignment, you reposition the issue at the centre of your child’s emotional development. 

Spiritual Insight 

Families are highly valued in Islam, but not at the expense of injustice, oppression, or quiet harm. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never neglected emotional distress for the sake of serenity. He handled the situation with tact, compassion, and firm principles, particularly when his family’s emotional well-being was at issue. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse is frequently mentioned in reference to personal pain, but it also serves as a reminder that emotional hardships within a family should not be carried passively. When they grow too heavy, they must be noticed and changed, not overlooked. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5188, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). ‘

Ignoring uncomfortable dynamics may seem simpler in the moment, but it is not what guardians do. They guide, intervene, and protect, gently but strongly. Your issue is not an emotional overreaction. It demonstrates parenting insight. And your child will eventually appreciate you for it.