My spouse and I lost our emotional connection after years of stress and hurt. Is it too late to rebuild something for the sake of what our child learns about love? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is Never Too Late 

No, it is not too late to rebuild, but it will take honesty, patience, and a shared determination to take modest but deliberate movements towards each other. Children do not need to observe flawless love. They must realise that love is something that individuals strive for, protect, and renew when it is broken. 

A Strategy for Rebuilding 

Even simple efforts, such as eating together at a meal, asking each other about their days, or conversing without stress, can change the emotional ambiance of a home. These adjustments do not have to be huge. They only need to be real and consistent enough to demonstrate your child that care is not dependent on convenience. Most importantly, this journey is not solely about your child. It is also for you: to reclaim a piece of your connection that may have been buried by duty, disappointment, or distance. When children see their parents progressively restoring what was strained, they internalise hope rather than delusion. They learn that relationships can be hurt and still be valuable. And they develop a more realistic, robust understanding of love, one fashioned not only by romance, but also by mercy, labour, and rebirth. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, love is defined not by emotion but by rahmah (mercy), mawaddah (affection), and sakinah (tranquilly). These are not permanent states, but rather spiritual attributes that must be developed, particularly after a difficult experience. The presence of strain does not equal the absence of faith or potential. Even the companions of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had hardships in their homes, but were urged to treat with one another with tenderness and honesty. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse describes love as a divine sanctuary based on kindness and maintained via activity, rather than as continual desire. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1161, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives. ‘

If your house formerly provided warmth, it is not unreasonable to desire it again. Your efforts to rebuild love, however softly, demonstrate courage and character. And your child will discover not only what love looks like, but what love chooses to become.