My spouse always tries to ‘stay strong’ and never expresses sadness. Our child is picking up on that. Are we teaching them that emotions are weakness? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unintended Lesson 

Yes, if children often see one parent hiding their feelings or downplaying sadness, they may come to link vulnerability with weakness. This can subtly teach them to avoid displaying emotion, especially during difficult times. While it may originate from a good intention — wanting to be calm for the sake of the family — the lack of emotional transparency frequently leaves children with a one-sided script. They may grow up feeling unclear about how to deal with their own melancholy, or humiliated when they are overwhelmed, believing it represents a lack of strength. 

A Strategy for Emotional Transparency 

You do not have to force emotional displays. Small yet heartfelt acknowledgements go a long way, such as “I am feeling a bit heavy today, but I know Allah will guide us through.” These statements assist children understand that emotion and strength are not diametrically opposed. Talk to your husband discreetly and gently about the example you are setting. You are not condemning them; you are broadening your perspective: “Our child sees everything. I want children to understand that strength involves the ability to feel, not just to remain silent. When children observe both calm composure and tender honesty, they become emotionally healthier, more resilient, and compassionate individuals. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ did not see passion as weakness. He cried when his son Ibrahim died, and when asked why, he claimed it was a sign of mercy in his heart. This demonstrated to the companions, and to all of us, that emotional sincerity is part of Islam’s power. 

In Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 117, Allah Almighty says: 

‘…Then (Allah Almighty) accepted their repentance from them; indeed, He is with them the Most Considerate and the Most Merciful.’ 

This mercy includes the tenderness we demonstrate inside our families : a softness that draws people closer, not a hardness that pushes them away. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1303, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said after the death of his son: 

‘The eyes shed tears, the heart grieves, but we say only what pleases our Lord. ‘

This moment was not hidden, but rather conveyed gracefully. Allow your child to observe your faith in both strength and softness. That is how they learn that emotional expression is not a sign of failure, but rather an essential component of being whole.