My partner often walks away mid-argument, slamming doors or refusing to speak for hours. Our child sees it all. What can I do to reduce the emotional fallout for them? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact on the Child 

When a child observes one parent storming out, slamming doors, or emotionally shutting down, it is an extremely upsetting experience. Children may not grasp the specifics of the dispute, but they can sense the instability and passion. Their developing minds frequently interpret it as danger, not physical, but emotional, which can lead to dread, guilt, or even self-blame. Such experiences undermine a child’s feeling of emotional safety. Even if the disagreement is not directed at them, sudden withdrawal or antagonism at home indicates that love and security are conditional. Over time, children may acquire anxiety, avoid conflict, or exhibit the same emotionally excessive tendencies in their own relationships. 

A Strategy for Mitigating Harm 

If your partner refuses to communicate in healthy ways during a fight, you still have the ability to mitigate the consequences for your child. Once the moment has passed, speak to your child in a calm, grounded tone. Reassure them with words like, We had a quarrel. That happens in families, but you are protected. You do not need to fix it. Keep it honest but basic. It is also critical to chat quietly with your partner later and explain how these outward reactions influence the child. Emotional retreat and abrupt exits may appear to be self-protective behaviours, but they are actually kinds of emotional inundation for a child. Instead of storming out, encourage the use of calmer words like “I need a break”. Finally, in quiet periods, increase emotional warmth through play, eye contact, and shared routines to help the child regain a sense of regularity and tranquilly. Repair after rupture is the most effective technique for emotionally conscious parenting. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotional restraint is a sign of strength, not suppression. Islam emphasises how we conduct our emotions in front of those entrusted to us, particularly children, whose hearts are open and easily shaped. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “peace be unto you.”’ 

This verse praises individuals who remain calm even when angered, preferring grace over reaction. Children who witness this behaviour learn that power resides in tranquilly, not chaos. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger. ‘

This strength is more than just spiritual; it also includes emotional modelling. When a child witnesses at least one parent respond with calm and humility, it acts as a stabilising factor in the home. Even if one spouse has issues with emotional management, the other can still influence the home environment. By providing calm, clarity, and post-conflict connection, you are gently establishing the child’s sense of safety while also satisfying your trust in Allah Almighty.