My child once asked, ‘Why do you and Mama never look at each other?’ I wanted to cry. How do I answer that honestly without tearing their world? 

Parenting Perspective 

Gentle Truth, Not Heavy Truth 

Begin with gentle truth, not heavy truth. Your child is not requesting a complete emotional breakdown; rather, they are seeking reassurance that the affection they rely on will not vanish. When a child notices something as subtle and piercing as eye contact, it indicates that they are catching up on emotional distance, even if you both follow regular routines. It is OK to notice the occasion without overwhelming them: “Sometimes adults forget to slow down and truly see each other. But we are still a family, and we are working on being more gentle with our eyes.” This type of response is both honest and anchored. 

Rebuilding Through Small Gestures 

What important is what your child experiences in the future. Even if there is emotional distance between you and your spouse, try to restore simple moments of mutual regard, such as a smile while passing food, a ‘thank you’ when handing over the school bag, or a kind glance during a joint task. These are not only marital repairs; they are emotional lifelines for your child. Children develop their inner sense of love and safety by observing how adults treat one another. Eye contact, or lack thereof, teaches children valuable lessons about presence, respect, and emotional courage. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotional connection is more than a romantic dream; it is part of Allah Almighty’s plan for spouses: to be clothes for one another, providing comfort, honour, and dignity. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 187: 

‘…As they are a veil (source of restraint from immorality) for you and you are a veil for them…’ 

This verse emphasises emotional intimacy and covering, not only physically but also spiritually and emotionally. When two people cease staring at each other, it indicates a thinning of the sacred cover. However, clothing can be repaired with intention and care. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women. ‘

Being ‘best’ in character includes how we perceive one another, not with cold eyes or turned faces, but with warmth and recognition. Your child’s query is more than just a source of distress. It is an invitation to restore warmth, not just for each other, but also for the eyes that are slowly discovering what love should look like.