My child asks why I do things differently from other dads in our community. How do I answer without shaming other families but still hold my ground? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to notice differences between families, especially when they compare their own parents with others in the community. The key here is to reassure your child that while families may do things differently, you are guided by principles you believe are right for them. This helps your child feel secure in your choices while learning respect for others. 

When your child asks such questions, acknowledge their observation first. You might say, ‘Yes, you are right, other dads may do things differently.’ Then explain calmly, ‘In our home, I try to do things in a way that I believe is best for you and our family.’ By framing your answer around care and responsibility rather than judgement, you affirm your role without criticising others. 

Children also need to learn that diversity in parenting styles exists, and that does not mean one family is automatically better than another. You can help them understand that different choices come from different experiences, but in your home you choose what aligns with your values. This approach avoids shaming others while strengthening your child’s confidence in your leadership. 

By consistently modelling respect in how you speak about other parents, your child learns not to belittle others but also sees that you hold steady in your own choices. Over time, this builds both resilience and empathy in them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 
 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous.’ 
  

This Verse reminds us that differences among people are part of Allah’s design. What truly matters is righteousness and sincerity, not uniformity. Teaching your child this helps them respect differences without feeling insecure about your family’s way. 

It is recorded in Riyadh as Salihin, Book 17, Hadith 224, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:  

‘The believer is not one who taunts others, nor curses, nor is indecent, nor abusive.’  

This hadith shows that in our speech and conduct; we must avoid belittling others. For a parent, this means holding firmly to your values while modelling dignity and kindness in how you speak about others. 

By answering your child’s question with clarity, gentleness, and respect, you give them a powerful lesson: confidence in one’s values does not require putting others down. In this way, you hold your ground while nurturing both your child’s security and their respect for the wider community.