My child asks the same question again and again hoping I will change my mind. How do I hold the line without losing patience? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child asks the same question over and over—‘Can I have it now?’, ‘Are you sure?’—they are usually not seeking new information. Instead, they are testing whether their persistence can wear you down and turn your ‘no’ into a ‘yes’. If you occasionally give in, you teach them that nagging is an effective strategy. The solution is not to become harsh or defensive, but to make your ‘no’ firm, brief, and final, delivered without any emotional charge. 

The ‘Answered Once’ Rule 

When you have said no, make it clear that the decision is final. You can say calmly, ‘I have already answered that question. Please do not ask again’. You must then hold that position, no matter how many times they repeat the question. Each time you re-engage by explaining or justifying your answer, you are restarting the negotiation. 

A simple and effective technique is to establish a family rule: ‘Asked and answered’. You can even write it down. When the behaviour starts, instead of getting drawn back into the debate, you can calmly point to the rule or say, ‘That question has been asked and answered’. This removes the emotional energy from the interaction and relies on quiet consistency. 

Removing the Emotional Reward 

It is crucial that you do not eventually give in just to have some peace. Children are perceptive; if they sense that your ‘no’ is fragile, they will continue to push. However, when they learn that your ‘no’ is calm, predictable, and unmovable, the testing will decrease because it no longer works. 

Acknowledging Acceptance 

Later, when the moment has passed and they have moved on, you can praise their ability to accept the boundary: ‘I know it was difficult for you when I said no, but you were able to accept it and move on. That shows real maturity’. This teaches them that letting go of a desire is a strength worth acknowledging. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages firmness balanced with mercy and discourages Laghw—idle, useless, or repetitive speech that serves no real purpose. Teaching a child to accept a boundary the first time it is given is a form of moral training that builds both patience and trust. 

Avoiding Futile Speech 

This verse praises the believers for their ability to turn away from pointless or ill speech. Teaching your child not to engage in repetitive questioning is a way of cultivating this noble quality in them. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minun (23), Verse 3: 

‘And they who turn away from ill speech. ‘

Patience as the Ultimate Discipline 

When your child’s persistent questioning begins to test your patience, your own self-restraint becomes the most powerful lesson. You are modelling emotional discipline, not just verbal firmness. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1252, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be patient. ‘

By calmly refusing to re-engage with a question you have already answered, you teach your child that you are in control—not just of the boundary, but of your own reactions. In doing so, you cultivate a home environment that is based on peaceful clarity, not on exhausting power struggles.