My child asked why we never go out together or laugh like other parents. How do I respond without lying or breaking their trust in us? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Question 

Your child’s question is not just curiosity; it is emotional noticing. Children value warmth, connection, and moments of joy in relationships rather than perfection. When children do not see lightness or warmth between their parents, they begin to build opinions about what love looks like. This query is your child’s request for comfort, not a thorough explanation. The idea is not to pretend, but to ground their hearts in something solid. 

A Strategy for Reassurance 

Begin with age-appropriate honesty: “Sometimes grown-ups get busy or tired, but that does not mean we do not care about each other.” Instead of speaking critically about your partner, demonstrate hope and emotional intelligence: “We are trying to get better at spending time together too.” From there, gradually add tiny, shared experiences for your child to witness, such as a shared chuckle at supper, a walk together, or even a thank you uttered aloud. These moments of connection are not theatrical; they are restorative. They teach your children that love should not be loud, but rather visible. And if joy has actually vanished from your marriage, let this inquiry serve as a reminder: not to pretend to feel what you do not, but to discover little methods to thaw the emotional air for your child’s sake. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, love is more than just a personal feeling. It is a trust, a type of mercy, that must be demonstrated by action and tone, particularly in front of those who are learning from us. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse emphasises that marriage is not solely based on structure or survival. Affection and mercy must exist inside it, and when they have faded, we are urged to renew them. It is also recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 2578, that Aisha (RA) narrated: 

‘While she was on a journey along with the the holy Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: This is for that outstripping. ‘

This fun moment between the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his wife Aisha (RA) serves as a strong reminder. Lightheartedness is not insignificant; it is a component of prophetic love. When a child sees this balance of play and respect, it gives them a sense of warmth and security.