Parenting Perspective 

When a child offers an apology but continues the same hurtful behaviour, their words begin to lose all meaning and can damage the trust in a friendship. While teasing may seem playful to your child, it becomes a repeated wrong if it is causing hurt to others. Your role is to help them understand that a sincere apology must be followed by a change in their behaviour.

Explain That Repeated Teasing Invalidates an Apology 

Tell your child directly but calmly, ‘When you say you are sorry but then you keep teasing your friend, your apology does not feel real to them. A true apology means you will try your best not to do it again.’ This simple and clear language helps them to connect the idea of an apology with a sense of responsibility. 

Help Them Reflect on the Impact 

Ask your child reflective questions that encourage them to think about the other person’s feelings. For example: ‘How do you think your friend feels when you continue to tease them, even after you have said you are sorry?’ This helps to build their empathy and shifts the focus from their own intentions to the impact of their actions. 

Set Clear Boundaries for Behaviour 

If the teasing continues, it is important to set a clear consequence that reinforces the lesson. This might involve reducing their playtime with that friend until they can show more respectful behaviour. This shows them that an apology without a change in behaviour still has a consequence. 

Encourage Positive Alternatives to Teasing 

Help your child to think of fun and respectful ways to interact and bond with their friends. You could suggest jokes that everyone can enjoy, giving compliments, or playing cooperative games. This gives them positive tools to express their playfulness without it crossing the line into causing hurt. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises that words have little value if they are not supported by sincere actions. An apology is only meaningful when it is followed by a genuine effort to change, just as true repentance (tawbah) requires both regret and an intention to avoid repeating the mistake. 

The Link Between Repentance and Reform 

The Quran reminds us that true forgiveness from Allah is linked to both the act of repenting and the sincere effort to reform one’s behaviour afterwards. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al An’aam (6), Verses 54: 

‘…So then say: “Peace be upon you, your Sustainer has prescribed upon himself, (to show you his) utmost mercy; indeed, so that if anyone of you acts maliciously by reason of their ignorance, and thereafter repentance and reformed themselves; then indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.’ 

The Definition of a True Muslim 

The prophetic tradition teaches that a core part of being a sincere Muslim is ensuring that other people feel safe from the harm of your words and actions. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2627, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand other Muslims are safe.’ 

By linking your child’s apology to the need for empathy and reform, you are showing them that teasing cannot be excused by empty words. They learn that in both their friendships and their faith, sincerity is proven by a real change of heart and action.