Is it normal for a five-year-old to still have daily tantrums?
Parenting Perspective
Daily tantrums in five-year-olds can be discouraging for parents who anticipate that emotional control will get better as their child grows. Nonetheless, this behaviour can still be considered normal for development, especially if a child is facing changes, has unmet needs, or is having difficulty adjusting to routines. At the age of five, a child’s brain is in the process of developing skills to handle emotions and regulate impulses. Elements like fatigue, hunger, sensory overload, or changes (such as beginning school) can quickly become too much for them to handle. When tantrums happen regularly, such as during changes or when rules are enforced, it usually indicates that a child is looking for more stability, rest, or a sense of connection.
Instead of seeing this behaviour as misbehaviour, parents might view it as a form of communication. Clear and steady boundaries, along with organised routines, assist children in developing self-control gradually. It is important to steer clear of punishment or severe discipline, as these approaches can increase feelings of distress. Although many children decrease the number of tantrums by this age, some may still be figuring out how to express their feelings without having outbursts. If tantrums are severe, last a long time, or are significantly impacting family life, it might be beneficial to consult with a child development expert.
Spiritual Insight
In Islam, the initial years of a child’s life are seen as a period of compassion, comprehension, and growth. In parenting, patience is essential, and the emotional challenges faced by young children are approached with understanding and insight. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Taghaabun (64), Verse 14: ‘… but if you pardon and overlook (their faults) and forgive (them); then indeed, Allah (Almighty) is Forgiving and Merciful.’ This verse highlights that forgiveness and patience are important qualities, particularly towards those we are responsible for. Children, who often act on impulse and feel emotions deeply, need a significant amount of patience from their parents. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’ This Hadith underscores the significance of being kind to children and highlights emotional gentleness as a valued characteristic in Islam. When a parent shows calmness and compassion while a child is feeling overwhelmed, they reflect the qualities of patience and guidance found in the Prophetic character. Having faith in Allah Almighty and seeking guidance through prayer for a smoother parenting experience are important aspects of this journey. Over time, with the right support and a caring approach, many five-year-olds can move past daily tantrums and develop a more peaceful way of expressing their emotions.
