In a recent emergency, we turned on each other instead of pulling together. How do we repair what our child saw? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact on the Child 

What your child witnessed in that moment may be healed, not by pretending it never happened, but by demonstrating how individuals learn and grow through disagreement. In an emergency, adrenaline rushes, concerns flare up, and blame or panic often takes the place of teamwork. While adults may move on, children often repeat these events in their minds, creating beliefs about relationships, safety, and even self-worth. 

A Strategy for Repair 

The most crucial step is not only to apologise to each other personally, but also to explain what happened in plain terms in front of your child. You may add, “When things grew scary, we argued instead of helping each other. That was not okay. We are learning to do better.” This demonstrates to your child that mistakes may be handled openly and without shame or silence. Then make visible changes: speak more gently, check in with each other, and describe small gestures of caring aloud, “Thanks for getting that done so quickly.” These small cues help your child replace the memory of anxiety with a new sense of security. The goal is not perfection. It is to demonstrate to your child that love and repair are possible even during hard times, and that families can drift apart for a brief period of time before choosing to reunite. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam does not expect us to be perfect under pressure. It encourages us to return to the path of charity and humility, especially when we stray. Despite facing acute circumstances such as battles, losses, and treachery, the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ did not use fear to justify violence or harshness. He was a calm, caring leader who emphasised communal resilience. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty)…’ 

This includes emotional violations, which occur when we allow fear to overpower compassion. The holy door of repair remains open. It is recorded in Sahih Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters. ‘

Your tenderness now , in accountability, soothing your partner, and reassuring your child, can undo far more than any single moment of terror ever taught. That is the ultimate force of parental Taubah: not simply repentance before Allah, but also emotional reconciliation with people we have been harsh with.