I want to raise a child with strong Islamic values, but my spouse prioritises worldly success. How do I make sure our child does not feel torn? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Child’s Dilemma 

When one parent strives for status while the other pursues faith, the child frequently learns to divide themselves in order to satisfy both sides. Depending on which parent is present, they may engage in religious activities while pursuing material accolades. This leads to profound misunderstanding of what really matters in addition to inconsistent behaviour. 

Building Bridges, Not Walls 

The key is not to compete, but to build bridges. Try incorporating Islamic principles into your spouse’s aspirations for success rather than discounting them. For example, whether financial or intellectual success is valued, associate it with excellence in ethics, honesty, and intention (Niyyah). Explain to your child that we aim for success in both Dunya and Akhirah. Reiterate that while success is defined differently in Islam, it is not denied. Giving children a larger frame that encompasses both values reduces the likelihood that they will feel conflicted. Show them through stories, actions, and discussion that it is possible to be both ambitious and accountable, humble and educated, respected and pious. 

Being the Silent Pillar 

Share decision-making moments with your spouse that demonstrate both values and objectives, such as selecting a school based on its academic quality and its moral environment. At home, be the silent pillar. Be the example you want your child to follow. Make Islam seem like the deeper compass that gives each accomplishment purpose rather than a list of limitations. That lived consistency will carry far more weight than lectures or debates. 

Spiritual Understanding 

This concern is not new. It is a component of a timeless tension between Dunya and Deen, and the challenge is to provide a child to both parents without compromising either. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Qasas (28), Verse 77: 

“And seek (to discover) from what Allah (Almighty) has bestowed upon you for the abode in the Hereafter; and do not forget your (true) functionality in this world; and show favour (onto others) as Allah (Almighty) has shown favour upon you. “

This verse strikes the perfect balance between the two realities. It serves as a reminder that while material blessings are not prohibited, they are only instruments, not ends in themselves. Parents are responsible for educating their children on how to inhabit the world without allowing it to determine their value. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2465, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“Whoever makes the Hereafter his goal, Allah Almighty makes his heart rich, and organizes his affairs, and the world comes to him whether it wants to or not. “

This Hadith demonstrates that focussing a child’s heart on Allah Almighty enhances rather than detracts from their prosperity in this world. When parents speak with one voice, even if in various tones, their children learn that Islam is not a rejection of life, but rather its natural anchor.