I want our child to love Salah, Quran, and good character, but I feel like we are not modelling it as a team. What needs to change? 

Parenting Perspective 

When parents model their faith inconsistently, a child can begin to see religious practice as an individual preference rather than a core family value. Creating a sense of spiritual unity does not require perfection, but rather a conscious and collaborative effort to make the Deen a lived, shared experience. 

Create Small, Shared Spiritual Rituals 

You do not need to implement a full curriculum. Start small. Agree to pray at least one Salah together as a family each day. Choose one verse of the Quran to reflect on at breakfast time. These simple, consistent habits transform faith from a solitary duty into a communal act of worship. 

Use a Shared Moral Language 

Work together as parents to describe good character using the same positive, faith-based language. When you see your child being kind, you can both make a point of saying, ‘That was so gentle of you; being merciful is a quality Allah loves’. This reinforces your shared values and connects good behaviour to a higher purpose. 

Narrate Your Own Spiritual Efforts 

Model that faith is a journey, not a destination. Let your child hear you talking about your own spiritual goals. A parent can say, ‘I am trying to be more patient this week, as that is a quality of the believers’. When your child sees that both parents are striving, it normalises the idea of continuous self-improvement. 

Align Your Efforts Through Private Check-ins 

Take a few minutes each week to talk privately with your spouse. Share observations about your child’s spiritual development and discuss how you can support each other. This behind-the-scenes teamwork is the foundation of a consistent and united spiritual front. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the responsibility of nurturing a child’s faith is a shared trust given to both parents, and that this guidance must be rooted in mercy and love. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah At Tahrim (66), Verse 6: 

‘O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones…‘ 

The command in this verse is plural, addressed to all believers. It reminds us that protecting our family is a shared, collective duty. When parents work together to create a spiritually nurturing home, they are fulfilling this Quranic command as a united team. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that physical affection and mercy are the foundation of spiritual teaching. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 3665, that when some people expressed surprise that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandchildren, he said: 

‘What can I do for you if Allah has removed mercy from your hearts?‘ 

This powerful hadith shows that a home devoid of open warmth and mercy cannot be a place where faith can truly flourish. When both parents model this prophetic compassion, they create the loving and secure environment in which a child’s connection to Allah can naturally grow.