I grew up in a house with no screaming, but also no love. I promised myself I would not repeat it. Yet here I am, and my child is now inside that same silence. How do I break the cycle? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Weight of Emotional Silence 

You do not break the cycle by becoming a different person overnight; rather, you do so by making intentional, daily changes that gradually warm the emotional climate of your home. Many parents who were raised in emotionally dry situations struggle not with love, but with how to show it. You may be madly in love, but if it is never shown in tone, gesture, or presence, your child is left to assume, which promotes insecurity. Breaking the pattern begins with acknowledging that silence is not neutral. A calm home without affection might feel just as heavy as one full of conflicts. 

A Strategy to Break the Cycle 

Begin by allowing your child to witness moments of tenderness between you and your spouse : a shared grin, a thank-you, a story told with warmth. You are not required to become a theatre performer. You simply need to become visible in your emotional presence. If you were a child who desired comfort but never received it, consider what that child would have wanted to see , and provide it today. Speak love aloud. Not perfect, but constant. Over time, your child will stop playing emotional guessing games and instead live in emotional security. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam not only condemns noisy confrontation, but also promotes emotional kindness as a spiritual virtue. Love is not only permitted in the home. It is Sunnah to live it. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners … and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse makes no mention of authority, correction, or quiet. It identifies tenderness and kindness as the divine foundations of the family relationship. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2318a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show mercy to others will not be shown mercy. ‘

Emotional warmth does not indicate weakness. It is an act of worship. Your child’s first encounter with Allah’s mercy is through your mercy. Speak it, show it, and let it soften the silence, and you will not only break the cycle, but also rewrite it.