How to Weave Islamic Values Into Sibling Relationships 

Parenting Perspective 

Separate Teaching From Disciplining 

It is very common for children to switch off when values are only mentioned in moments of conflict. When you step in during a fight with ‘remember mercy’ or ‘Allah wants you to be kind,’ they may hear it as correction rather than inspiration. Over time, this can make beautiful reminders feel like burdens. 

Introduce Values in Calm Moments 

One helpful shift is to separate teaching from disciplining. Use calmer, everyday moments to introduce stories, examples, or even short reflections about kindness and brotherhood. At the dinner table or before bed, you could share a small story of two companions of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ who showed loyalty to one another, without tying it directly to your children’s behaviour. This way, the values sink in gently, before the heat of any argument. 

Model the Values Yourself 

Another approach is to model the values yourself. When you show mercy after a mistake or choose patience in a stressful moment, you provide a living example of what those values look like in action. Children absorb far more from what they witness consistently than what they are told in lectures. 

Link Positive Behaviour to Islamic Principles 

It also helps to make Islamic reminders feel connected to their world. For example, when one child shares a toy or helps their sibling, highlight it with, ‘That was an act of mercy, and Allah loves mercy,’ said with warmth. Linking positive behaviour to Islamic principles in everyday language helps children see these values as part of life, not abstract rules. 

Reminders as Guiding Principles, Not Burdens 

In time, your children will stop rolling their eyes because they will recognise that these reminders are not just words during fights but guiding principles shaping the whole family atmosphere. 

Spiritual Insight 

Gentleness Wins Hearts 

The noble Quran emphasises mercy as a quality that Allah Himself loves.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This Verse shows that gentleness wins hearts more effectively than harshness. For parenting, it teaches us that weaving reminders with kindness and patience carries more impact than delivering them in moments of anger. 

Faith Is Lived Out Through Daily Acts of Care 

It is recorded in Al- Adab Al-Mufrad, Book 6, Hadith 0, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not a believer whose stomach is filled while his neighbour goes hungry.’  

This Hadith demonstrates that faith is lived out through everyday acts of care and responsibility. Applied to siblings, it highlights that brotherhood and mercy are not slogans but small, daily acts of consideration and support. 

By planting these reminders in calm, ordinary moments and embodying them in your own behaviour, you show your children that Islamic values are not lectures reserved for fights, but a natural, beautiful part of how a family lives together. This consistency will gradually allow those values to take root in their hearts.