How to Teach That Chores Are a Shared Responsibility 

Parenting Perspective 

Use Consistent Practice and Intentional Conversations 

It can be disheartening when children assume that the responsibility of running the home falls only on their mother. This mindset often forms quietly, as children observe who takes the lead in maintaining the house. Shifting it requires both consistent practice and intentional conversations. 

Reframe Chores as ‘Family Responsibilities’ 

Begin by reframing chores as ‘family responsibilities’ rather than ‘helping mum.’ Use language that makes it clear everyone benefits from a clean and organised home, and therefore everyone must contribute. For example, instead of saying, ‘Can you help me set the table?’ try saying, ‘It is time for us to set the table for dinner.’ This small change communicates that the task belongs to the household, not just to you. 

Use Practical Systems 

Practical systems also help. Assign clear roles so that children know what is expected of them and rotate tasks, so no one feels permanently stuck with the least enjoyable jobs. Celebrate teamwork when tasks are completed together, drawing attention to how the effort of each person made life easier for the family as a whole. 

Explain the Purpose Behind Shared Work 

Another key step is to explain the purpose behind shared work. When children understand that caring for the home is part of honouring one another and showing gratitude for what Allah has provided, they begin to see chores less as burdens and more as opportunities to live out their values. Modelling this attitude yourself, while calmly insisting on their participation, helps them to internalise it over time. 

Spiritual Insight 

A Family Home Is a Trust (Amanah) 

Islam beautifully connects responsibility at home with worship. A family home is a trust (Amanah) from Allah, and caring for it collectively is part of fulfilling that trust. 

Honouring That Trust Is Worship 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al-Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’  

This Verse reminds us that whatever has been placed in our care, including our homes and families, is part of our Amanah. Teaching children that cleaning, organising, and maintaining the home is an act of honouring that trust elevates their chores into worship. 

The Prophetic Example of Humility and Service 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 69, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ served his family at home, mending his clothes and tending to daily tasks.  

This example demonstrates that household responsibility is not the burden of one person, but a shared duty infused with humility and service. 

By grounding chores in the concept of Amanah and by showing them that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself engaged in housework, children learn that responsibility is not about gender or age but about faith and cooperation. This shift helps them see your home not as ‘your job,’ but as a shared blessing from Allah that everyone has a duty to care for.