Parenting Perspective 

Apology and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin when it comes to reconciliation. If children only learn how to apologise but not how to forgive, resentment can linger and damage their relationship. Likewise, if they are simply told to ‘forgive’ without any understanding, the act can feel forced and insincere. Teaching both concepts together helps siblings to build stronger bonds and develop emotional maturity. 

Explain the Balance Between Apology and Forgiveness 

Clearly explain to your children that reconciliation requires effort from both sides of a conflict. You could say, “When we are the one who has hurt someone, our job is to apologise. When we are the one who has been hurt, our job is to try to forgive. Both are very important for keeping the love in our family strong.” 

Model Forgiveness in Your Own Actions 

When your child apologises to you for a mistake, make your forgiveness visible and explicit. You might say, “I was feeling upset earlier, but I forgive you now because I love you.” This helps to teach them that forgiveness is a conscious and loving choice, not just a passive feeling that may or may not arrive. 

Use Rituals to Signify Closure 

Encourage your children to seal an apology and the act of forgiveness with a simple ritual. This could be a handshake, a hug, or even just saying the words, “It is okay, let us start again.” These small, physical acts make the concept of forgiveness more tangible and meaningful, signifying a fresh start. 

Frame Forgiveness as an Act of Strength 

Remind your children that choosing to forgive is not about ignoring the hurt they felt, but is instead about choosing peace over anger. For example, you could say, “When you forgive your sister, you are showing that your love for her is stronger than your anger.” 

By teaching apology and forgiveness as a pair, siblings learn that healing a relationship is a two-way process that brings peace and relief to both hearts. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the act of forgiving is a noble quality that brings a believer closer to Allah Almighty. Just as Allah, in His infinite mercy, forgives us when we repent, we are strongly encouraged to forgive others when they offer an apology. Teaching this principle to our children nurtures both their compassion and their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 22: 

‘…And forgive (their mistakes) and overlook (their weaknesses); do you not love the fact that Allah (Almighty) may forgive you? And Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful.’ 

This beautiful verse reminds us that the act of forgiving others is a direct path to inviting the forgiveness of Allah into our own lives. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that true strength is required to overcome negative feelings and choose peace. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

This teaches us that forgiveness requires true strength, as it involves mastering feelings of pride and anger in favour of peace and reconciliation. By linking the act of forgiveness to the act of apology, children learn that both humility (in apologising) and mercy (in forgiving) are needed to fully repair their bonds. They grow to see that forgiving each other is not only good for their own hearts but is also a beautiful way to earn the mercy of Allah Almighty and strengthen the love within their family.