How to Teach Emotional Honesty When You Struggle With It 

Parenting Perspective 

Finding the Balance in Emotional Expression 

Your awareness of this concern shows deep care for your children’s future emotional wellbeing. When children see a parent constantly suppressing emotions, they may conclude that feelings should be hidden or denied. At the same time, parents often avoid expressing emotions because they want to protect their children from worry. The healthier balance is to show them that emotions exist, but can be expressed in calm, constructive ways. 

Model Manageable Honesty 

You do not need to display every struggle to your children in full. Instead, let them witness manageable honesty. For example, if you feel sad, you could say, “I am feeling a little sad right now, but I will take a moment to feel better.” If you feel frustrated, you could tell them, “I am upset, so I will take a breath before we continue.” This gives them language and examples of how to process emotions without fear or shame. 

Show Them How to Handle Feelings 

Equally important is showing what comes after the feeling. If your children see you pray, rest, or return to a task after acknowledging an emotion, they learn that feelings can be handled and are not overwhelming. This prevents them from assuming that sadness or frustration must be suppressed. 

Find Private Outlets for Deeper Emotions 

At the same time, find private spaces for your deeper emotions. Sharing them with trusted adults, or releasing them in dua, ensures you do not carry them silently until they spill over. This helps you stay authentic with your children, while still preserving their sense of safety. 

Teach by Demonstration, Not Perfection 

In this way, you are teaching emotional honesty not by perfection, but by small, consistent demonstrations of healthy expression. Children do not need to see a parent without struggles; they need to see a parent who handles struggles with steadiness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Express Emotions With Dignity 

Islam acknowledges human emotions and guides us to express them with dignity and reliance upon Allah. The prophets themselves expressed sadness and pain yet always showed trust in Allah alongside their emotions. 

Turn to Allah With Your Grief 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yusuf (12), Verse 86: 

‘(Prophet Yaqoob (AS)) replied: “I am only complaining to Allah (Almighty) of my anguish and heartache; and I have been made aware from Allah (Almighty) of matters that you do not know”.’ 

This was the statement of Prophet Yaqub (peace be upon him) when expressing his deep grief. It shows that acknowledging emotions is part of faith, and that turning to Allah while feeling them is the healthiest way forward. 

Express Sadness With Patience and Faith 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when his son Ibrahim passed away, said: 

‘The eyes shed tears and the heart feels grief, but we do not say except that which pleases our Lord.’ 

[Sahih Al-Bukhari, 23:61] 

This Hadith teaches that expressing emotions is natural, but they must be guided by words of patience and faith. 

By allowing your children to see honest but measured emotions, coupled with actions of self-control and turning to Allah, you are teaching them the prophetic model of balance. In doing so, you overcome the cycle of suppression and instead raise children who can face their emotions with honesty, faith, and resilience.