How to Teach a Child to Accept an Apology 

Parenting Perspective 

Nurture Both Sides of Respect 

It is natural for children to hold on to hurt feelings even after an apology, especially if they are still upset or feel that the wrong was repeated before. While teaching a child to apologise is important, it is equally necessary to help the other child learn what it means to accept an apology graciously. This balance ensures that both sides of respect are nurtured. 

Separate Forgiveness From Feelings 

You can start by separating the act of forgiveness from the feelings of being hurt. A child does not have to pretend they are no longer upset, but they can still choose to accept the apology. You might say, ‘It is okay if you are still sad, but when someone says sorry, we accept it because it shows respect and allows us to move forward.’ This distinction helps children see forgiveness as a step towards peace, not denial of their feelings. 

Model Forgiveness Yourself 

It is also helpful to model this in your own interactions. When you make a mistake with your children, apologise and show them what it looks like to forgive openly. For example, if one child apologises and the other resists, you can gently remind them, ‘Forgiving is part of showing kindness, and it also helps your own heart feel lighter.’ 

Make Forgiveness Part of Your Family Culture 

You can also make forgiveness part of your family culture by praising both sides of the process. When a child apologises, acknowledge their courage. When another forgives, affirm their generosity. Over time, your children will begin to see that giving and accepting apologies are both valued and celebrated within the family. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do You Not Love to Be Forgiven by Allah? 

The noble Quran reminds us of the virtue of forgiveness.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An-Nur (24), Verse 22: 

‘…And forgive (their mistakes) and overlook (their weaknesses); do you not love the fact that Allah (Almighty) may forgive you? And Allah is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful.’  

This Verse teaches that just as we hope for Allah’s forgiveness, we should extend it to others. Forgiving a sibling after they apologise is an act of mercy that reflects the mercy we want from Allah. 

Forgiveness Is a Source of Dignity 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Book 45, Hadith 90, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Charity does not decrease wealth, and no one forgives another except that Allah increases him in honour.’  

This Hadith shows that forgiveness is not a loss but a source of dignity and reward. For children, it means that accepting an apology is not about giving up power but about gaining respect in Allah’s sight. 

By reminding your children that both giving and receiving apologies are forms of respect, and linking this to the values of mercy and honour taught in Islam, you can help them build a sibling relationship grounded in mutual respect and spiritual growth.