Parenting Perspective 

Children often see an apology as being complete once they have said the words ‘I am sorry.’ However, the beautiful Islamic concept of ihsan (excellence) teaches us to go beyond words and to actively repair what was broken, doing more than the minimum required. Teaching your child that making things right is a part of ihsan helps them to see an apology as an active way of showing kindness, responsibility, and respect. 

Explain Ihsan in Simple Terms 

You can introduce the concept to your child by saying, “Ihsan means doing things in the most beautiful way possible, not just the easiest way. Saying you are sorry is good, but ihsan is when you also take a step to fix what went wrong.” This helps to frame the act of making amends as an opportunity to practise excellence in their character. 

Use Everyday Examples to Illustrate Ihsan 

If your child accidentally breaks a sibling’s toy, you can use it as a teaching moment. You might explain, “Saying sorry is kind, but showing ihsan means you also help to repair it, or you offer to share one of your own toys for a while.” Linking the principle of ihsan to practical, everyday actions makes it much more relatable for a child. 

Praise and Reinforce Acts of Ihsan 

When you see your child going beyond a simple apology by giving a hug, sharing something, or helping the person they have upset, make sure to point it out. You could say, “That was a beautiful example of ihsan. You did not just say you were sorry; you also showed kindness to make things right.” This kind of positive reinforcement helps the habit to grow. 

Model Ihsan in Your Own Apologies 

When you make amends for your own mistakes, try to do more than the bare minimum. For example, if you accidentally hurt your child’s feelings, you can not only apologise but also make a point of spending some extra quality time with them. This models excellence in action. 

By teaching the concept of ihsan in this way, you help your child to see an apology not as a reluctant duty, but as a chance to shine with goodness and beauty. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam elevates a believer’s character by encouraging ihsan, which is the act of striving for excellence in everything we do, including making amends. A true and complete apology in the Islamic faith is not just about words; it is about restoring what was harmed and showing sincere mercy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verses 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

This verse reminds us that ihsan (translated here as good conduct) means doing more than just what is fair; it means beautifying our actions with an extra layer of goodness and care. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that this principle applies to all of our actions. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 639, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Verily, Allah has prescribed excellence in all things.’ 

This teaches us that the principle of excellence applies not only to our acts of worship but also to our daily social interactions, including how we apologise and repair the harm we may have caused. By showing your child that ihsan means taking an extra step after saying sorry, with kindness, fairness, and sincere effort, you are helping to root in them a higher standard of character. They learn from your guidance that excellence in Islam is not only found in prayer, but is also beautifully demonstrated in the way they treat other people and make things right.