How to Support Shy Kids Who Avoid Eye Contact with Strangers 

Parenting Perspective 

Shyness in children, especially when it comes to avoiding eye contact with strangers, is a very common developmental stage. For some children, it is a way of feeling safe in uncomfortable situations. For others, it may be a sign that they need more confidence. Instead of forcing eye contact, which can increase their anxiety, the goal is to gently encourage social comfort while respecting your child’s temperament. 

Normalise Their Feelings 

Let your child know that it is perfectly okay to feel shy. Saying something like, “I know it feels hard to look at people sometimes, but we can practise together,” reassures them that they are not being judged for how they feel. 

Practise in Safe Settings 

Start by practising with family or trusted friends. You can play short games that involve looking at each other’s eyes or practise greetings at home. Building these skills in a safe environment will make it easier for them to use these skills with strangers. 

Model Respectful Interaction 

Children learn by watching. When you greet others with eye contact, a smile, and kind words, you show your child what politeness looks like in action. Over time, they will imitate your confidence and respectful behaviour. 

Supporting shy children in this way helps them to move at their own pace, gradually building their comfort without making them feel pressured or ashamed. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings encourage believers to connect with others and to be mindful of even the smallest acts of kindness, such as a smile or a greeting. 

Guidance from the noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other…’ 

This verse reminds us that human connection and respectful interaction with others are part of Allah Almighty’s plan for us. 

Teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2626, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is meeting your brother with a cheerful face.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that even a small gesture, like a smile or polite eye contact, is valued in Islam as an act of goodness and kindness. 

By encouraging shy children to practise respectful interaction at their own pace, you are connecting their growth to the values of Islam. They will learn that kindness, politeness, and even simple gestures like a smile are part of their faith. Over time, this will nurture both their confidence and their understanding that respectful communication is an act of worship as well as good manners.