How to Support One Child Without Creating Resentment 

Parenting Perspective 

Ensure Each Child Feels Secure in Your Care 

It is very natural for siblings to measure love by the visible attention they receive. When one child is going through anxiety or difficulty, they may need more reassurance, which can easily look like ‘favouritism’ to the others. As a parent, your task is not to divide love equally minute by minute, but to make sure each child feels secure in your care. 

Be Honest but Age-Appropriate 

One practical step is to be honest but age appropriate. You can tell the other children, ‘Your brother is finding some things harder right now, so I am helping him more. When you need me, I will also be there for you.’ This makes it clear that the extra support is about circumstances, not about loving one child more. 

Create Intentional Moments of Connection 

Secondly, create small intentional moments of connection with each child. It does not have to be long, but giving five minutes of undivided attention, with eye contact and warmth, can reassure them deeply. This way, even if one child needs more ongoing support, the others do not feel invisible. 

Invite Siblings Into Empathy 

It is also important to invite siblings into empathy rather than rivalry. Encourage them to help their anxious brother in small ways, such as sitting with him during a task or offering kind words. When they see themselves as part of his support system, it shifts their perspective from competition to compassion. 

Your Love Is Not Measured or Compared 

Above all, keep reminding them consistently through words and actions that your love for them is not measured or compared, but is unique to each child. Over time, your steady reassurance builds trust, even if the balance of attention changes from day to day. 

Spiritual Insight 

Stand Firmly for Justice 

Islam offers powerful guidance on fairness and compassion within families. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 135: 

‘O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives...’  

This Verse reminds us that fairness is not always about treating everyone identically, but about standing for what is right in each situation. Supporting one child’s particular need is an act of justice, provided you continue to show equal love and respect for all. 

Fear Allah and Be Just With Your Children 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari (Hadith 2587) and Sahih Muslim (Hadith 1623) that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

The holy Prophet ﷺ emphasised that justice protects the hearts of children. Being just means not giving more love to one over another, but it also means recognising when one needs more support and ensuring this does not diminish the love shown to the others. 

When you balance compassion with fairness, you are modelling both mercy and justice, two attributes that Allah loves. By gently explaining, showing consistent warmth, and seeking Allah’s help, you reassure every child that your love is constant, even if your time and attention look different. This nurtures trust and prevents resentment from taking root.