How to Stop Comparing Your Low-Energy Parenting Days 

Parenting Perspective 

Comparison is a trait which often enters silently. You scroll through social media and see a parent making pancakes from scratch, giggling with their child, while you can barely summon the energy to respond to, ‘Can I have a snack?’ In that moment, a quiet voice inside says, ‘You should be doing more. You should be better.’ Do not get trapped by that voice as that is not the truth, but it is exhaustion covered with inadequacy. 

Low-energy parenting days are not a reflection of failure. They are a reality of being human, and a reality that most parents privately know, even if they do not show it publicly. The polished outside of someone else’s life is not proof that they are coping better than you. You are seeing the main aspects which people want to show and carry the feeling behind that. 

 

Reframing the Comparison Trap 

You are not parenting with the same resources 

Other parents may have more physical help, better sleep, fewer stressors, or different temperaments. You are carrying a load uniquely shaped by your health, circumstances, and inner world. That load deserves compassion, not comparison. 

Children do not need 100% energy , they need realness 

A calm, emotionally present parent for even ten minutes means more than a constantly cheerful but emotionally distracted one. Your quiet presence can be a deep source of security, even if you are low energy. 

Comparison invalidates your survival 

Every day you show up despite fatigue, you are exercising strength. Every moment you pause before reacting harshly, you are doing sacred work. These acts may be invisible to the outside world, but they are not invisible to your child. 

Your child’s experience is not defined by other families

Your child is not counting smiles and activities. They are internalising whether they feel loved, seen, and safe and those things can be offered even on the days you are tired, unshowered, and worn out. 

You are not falling behind. You are living a different kind of rhythm, and one that still counts. 

Spiritual Insight 

When you compare your parenting to others, you are measuring your worth against what Allah Almighty did not assign you. He never asked you to be the most active or visibly cheerful. Allah Almighty asked you to be sincere, soft-hearted, and faithful within the life you have been given. 

A Reminder Not to Wish for What Others Have 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), verse 32: 

“And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others; for the men is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work), and for the women, is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work); and (if you wish for more) ask Allah (Almighty) from His benefactions (to give you more)….” 

This verse directly cautions against comparison. Each person is tested and blessed differently. Instead of envying another parent’s apparent ease, ask Allah for strength within your own circumstances. 

The Prophetic Model: Look at Those Who Are Lower Than You 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“Look at those who are lower than you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you do not belittle the favours of Allah upon you.” 

[Sahih Muslim, 2664] 

It is a victory when you choose kindness and effort and do not give up on days when your energy is low. That is your parenting and that is your worship. 

You are not less just because you are tired. You are simply walking a different path, one that requires just as much courage, and just as much love. And that is more than enough.