How to Show Your Love Is Not Tied to Perfection 

Parenting Perspective 

Separate Their Worth From Their Behaviour 

When a child asks whether they will still be loved if they make a mistake, it shows a deep need for reassurance and unconditional safety. For a parent, the goal is to help them separate their worth from their behaviour. A child should feel that mistakes can be corrected, but love remains constant. 

Respond With Steady, Clear Reassurance 

You can start by responding with steady, clear reassurance: ‘I will always love you, even when I correct you.’ This teaches them that discipline and love are not opposites but can coexist. Following a mistake, focus on addressing the action without labelling the child. For example, instead of saying, ‘You are careless,’ say, ‘This action needs more care.’ This way, your child sees that their identity is safe, even if their behaviour needs improvement. 

Share Your Own Small Mistakes 

Another powerful step is to share your own small mistakes in age-appropriate ways. When you drop something or forget a detail, say: ‘I made a mistake, but I can fix it.’ This models that errors are part of growth, not evidence of failure. It helps your child see mistakes as a learning process, not a threat to their belonging. 

Balance Correction With Affection 

Finally, balance correction with affection. A hug, smile, or gentle tone after discipline helps restore the sense of connection. This prevents your child from holding onto fear that mistakes will weaken your love. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Despair of the Mercy of Allah 

In Islam, mercy and forgiveness are central, and children should see that reflected in how parents guide them. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 53: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “O my servants, those of you who have transgressed against yourselves (by committing sin); do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall forgive the entirety of your sins; indeed, He is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful”.‘  

This Verse reminds us that Allah’s mercy is far greater than our mistakes. If the Creator reassures His servants of unconditional mercy, parents too should echo that message with their children. 

Allah Is More Merciful Than a Mother to Her Child 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book 9, Hadith 150, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is more merciful to His servants than a mother is to her child.’  

This Hadith elevates the standard of parental love, teaching that while correction is necessary, compassion must remain the foundation. 

By consistently reassuring your child that mistakes are part of learning, while love remains unshaken, you mirror the divine balance of justice and mercy. Over time, your child will internalise that they are cherished for who they are, not for being perfect, and this will give them both resilience and confidence.