How to Show Your Kids Your Vulnerable Side Safely 

Parenting Perspective 

Balancing Stability and Vulnerability 

It is natural to want your children to see you as calm and strong, because that sense of stability gives them security. At the same time, if you never show your vulnerability, they may grow up thinking that strength means never feeling sadness, fear, or disappointment. Children benefit from seeing that parents also have emotions, as long as those emotions are shared in a way that does not overwhelm them. 

Introduce Small Glimpses of Your Feelings 

You can begin by introducing small glimpses of your feelings in safe ways. For example, you might say, ‘I am feeling tired today, so I will rest a little,’ or ‘That situation made me sad, but I am working through it.’ These statements allow your children to see that you have emotions, while also seeing that you are able to manage them responsibly. This reassures them that emotions are normal and not something to fear. 

Model How to Recover From Emotions 

It is also helpful to model how you recover from those emotions. If you are feeling upset and your children notice, let them see you take a pause, pray, or engage in a calming activity. This shows them that vulnerability does not mean collapse, but rather a moment that can be worked through with patience and care. 

Share Age-Appropriate Reflections 

Another way to deepen connection is to share age-appropriate reflections from your own experiences. For example, telling them, ‘When I was your age, I sometimes felt nervous too, but I found ways to keep going,’ gives them a sense of your humanity without placing emotional weight on them. 

Strength and Vulnerability Can Coexist 

By sharing vulnerability with steadiness, you help your children see that being ‘real’ means both feeling and managing. They learn that strength and vulnerability can exist together, and that neither cancels out the other. 

Spiritual Insight 

Vulnerability as a Lesson in Faith 

Islam does not demand that we hide our emotions. The prophets themselves expressed their feelings openly, while showing reliance on Allah. Vulnerability, when paired with trust in Allah, becomes a lesson in faith as much as in humanity. 

Acknowledging Limits Is Not Failure 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity...’ 

This Verse reminds us that acknowledging our limits and showing our struggles is not a failure. It is part of recognising that we are human and that ultimate strength comes from Allah. Sharing this perspective with your children allows them to see that it is Islamically acceptable to feel weak, while relying on Allah for support. 

Express Sadness With Trust in Allah 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when his son Ibrahim passed away, said: 

‘The eyes shed tears and the heart feels grief, but we do not say except that which pleases our Lord.’ 

[Sahih Al-Bukhari, 23:61] 

This Hadith shows that expressing sadness is fully human yet must be guided by trust and words that please Allah. If your children see you cry or feel upset, and then see you respond with dua or patience, they witness a model of Islamic vulnerability that is safe and grounded. 

By letting your children see small parts of your real emotions, framed with steadiness and faith, you allow them to know you more deeply while also teaching them that vulnerability is not weakness. It is a path to connection with both family and Allah.