How to Show Your Humanity to Your Kids Without Burdening Them 

Parenting Perspective 

Showing Your Humanity Safely 

Your tears are not a sign of weakness, but a reflection of the weight you carry. Hiding them completely may protect your children in the short term, but it can leave you feeling isolated and may teach them that emotions must always be concealed. Children benefit from seeing their parents’ humanity, provided it is shown in a way that feels safe and steady for them. 

Allow Measured Glimpses of Your Sadness 

One way to do this is to allow small, measured glimpses of your sadness, while showing them that you can manage it. For example, if you tear up in front of them, you might say calmly, “I am feeling a bit sad right now, but it is normal to feel this sometimes, and I will be fine.” This communicates honesty without transferring the responsibility onto them. 

Balance Private Release With Measured Openness 

At the same time, protect them from carrying the full weight of your loneliness. Your children are not meant to be your comforters; they are meant to feel secure in your presence. Seek spaces with trusted adults, prayer, or personal reflection to release your deeper emotions fully. This balance between private release and measured openness teaches your children that emotions are natural, while still allowing them to experience you as their steady guide. 

Model Healthy Emotional Recovery 

You can also model healthy recovery. If they see you cry and then see you take action—such as praying, resting, or returning to an activity—they learn that sadness is not something to fear. Instead, they understand that feelings come and go, and that strength includes the ability to move forward. This teaches them resilience while preserving their sense of security. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotions Are Not Meant to Be Hidden 

Islam does not ask us to hide our emotions entirely. The prophets themselves expressed grief, yet always with trust in Allah and dignity in expression. 

Complain of Grief Only to Allah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yusuf (12), Verse 86: 

‘(Prophet Yaqoob (AS)) replied: “I am only complaining to Allah (Almighty) of my anguish and heartache; and I have been made aware from Allah (Almighty) of matters that you do not know”.’ 

This was the response of Prophet Yaqub (peace be upon him) when expressing his deep sorrow. His example shows that sharing pain with Allah is a source of strength, and that acknowledging sadness does not diminish faith. It also reminds us that grief is not a burden to place upon others, but something to carry with reliance upon Allah. 

Express Sadness With Dignity and Faith 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when his son Ibrahim passed away, said: 

‘The eyes shed tears and the heart feels grief, but we do not say except that which pleases our Lord.’ 

[Sahih al-Bukhari, 23:61] 

This Hadith highlights that expressing sadness is human, yet it must be paired with words that uphold trust in Allah. By letting your children see that you too feel sadness, but always with composure and faith, you show them a powerful example of emotional honesty anchored in belief. 

Through measured openness, private release, and reliance upon Allah, you can show your children your humanity without making them feel unsafe. This way, they learn that strength is not the absence of tears, but the ability to meet them with calmness and faith.