How to Show Your Children That Grief Is Natural 

Parenting Perspective 

They Are Unsure How to Handle Strong Emotions 

Children often look to their parents as their emotional anchor. When they see you crying, it can feel unsettling because they fear that the person who keeps them safe is also in pain. Their plea for you to stop crying does not mean they want you to hide your grief; it usually means they are unsure how to handle seeing such strong emotions. 

Make Your Feelings Less Frightening 

You can help them by making your feelings less frightening through explanation and reassurance. For example, you might say, ‘I cry because I miss someone I love, but even when I am sad, I am still here to take care of you.’ This helps them see that tears are not a sign of weakness or danger, but a healthy way of expressing love and loss. 

Set Boundaries Around Your Grief 

It can also help to set boundaries around when and how much you cry in front of them. If your grief feels very heavy, you might step aside for a moment, then return to them once you are calmer. At other times, allowing them to see some tears in a gentle way shows that sadness is part of being human. Over time, they will learn that it is possible to feel sorrow and still be safe and loved. 

Encourage Them to Express Their Own Feelings 

Encouraging them to express their own feelings in small ways can also make a difference. If they see you model healthy grieving, they will be more likely to share their own sadness rather than bottling it up. You can invite them to talk, draw, or make Dua together as a family, showing that grief can be carried collectively, not in isolation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Tears Are a Part of Mercy 

Islam teaches us that tears at times of loss are not only natural but also part of mercy placed in our hearts.  

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 23, Hadith 61, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, but we do not say except what pleases our Lord.’  

This hadith shows that even the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ wept at the passing of loved ones, while still maintaining words of trust in Allah. Sharing this with your children can help them see that crying does not mean losing faith or control. Rather, it is a way of honouring love while remembering Allah’s wisdom. 

In the Remembrance of Allah Do Hearts Find Rest 

You can also remind them of the comfort Allah gives in times of sadness.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ar-Ra’d (13), Verse 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that (one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’  

Explaining to your children that remembering Allah through Dua or reciting Quran can bring peace to sad hearts helps them connect grief with healing rather than fear. 

By modelling honest but balanced grief, and grounding it in faith, you show your children that sadness is not unsafe. It is a form of love, guided by trust in Allah, and something that a family can share together with patience and hope.