How to Show You Are Ready to Hear Your Child Properly 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child shares something difficult, it can catch a parent off guard. Sometimes, panic makes you brush it aside, not because you do not care, but because you care so deeply that you fear saying the wrong thing. What matters now is not that you stumbled in the first moment, but that you return to repair the connection. 

Honesty and Humility 

Go back to your daughter with honesty and humility. You might say, ‘When you told me that, I did not respond the way I should have. I was caught off guard, but I want you to know that I am here now and ready to listen properly.’ This communicates both accountability and care, showing her that her voice is valued enough for you to return to it. 

When she shares again, focus on listening fully before responding. Allow her to finish without interruption. Use short acknowledgements like, ‘I understand,’ or ‘That sounds hard,’ so she feels heard. Resist the urge to immediately solve or minimise what she says. Many times, a child does not need a solution in that moment, they need to feel safe being heard. 

Offer Guidance Gently 

If the issue requires guidance, offer it gently after she has finished speaking. You can frame it as support rather than correction: ‘Thank you for trusting me with that. Would you like me to share some thoughts, or do you just want me to listen right now?’ This gives her control in the conversation, which builds trust. 

Returning to the conversation with calm presence shows your daughter that mistakes in communication do not end the bond. Instead, it teaches her that even when a parent falters, they can repair it with sincerity. That lesson of repair is just as valuable as the lesson itself. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on listening with mercy and responding with care. The way a parent reacts in sensitive moments can either open the child’s heart further or cause it to withdraw. Returning after a mistake is a sign of humility and strength. 

A Reminder That Softness Keeps Hearts Together 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Qur’an at Surah Aalai Imran (3), verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you; so, then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration)….’ 

This Verse reminds us that softness and leniency are what keep hearts together. Even when mistakes happen, returning with gentleness rebuilds trust. 

The Prophetic Model: Strength is Self-Control 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry.’ ‘

Applied here, strength lies not in reacting perfectly in the first moment, but in controlling the impulse to panic, and in returning with humility to listen again. 

By going back to your daughter with gentleness, you not only repair the specific moment but also show her that Islamically, love and mercy are stronger than fear and panic. Over time, this teaches her that she can always bring her heart to you, even if the first response was imperfect.