How to Show Up for Daily Parenting, Not Just Big Decisions 

Parenting Perspective 

It is very common for one parent to feel the weight of everyday responsibilities while the other becomes more visible in moments of major decision-making. When your wife says this, she is expressing that consistency and shared responsibility matter as much as the big calls. For a child, daily presence shapes their sense of safety and belonging just as much as big milestones. 

Take Small, Consistent Steps 

Rebuilding trust begins with small, consistent steps. Ask your wife what daily responsibilities matter most to her right now. It may be as simple as managing school drop-offs, reading with the child at night, or helping with routines such as meals and bedtime. Rather than trying to do everything at once, choose two or three areas where you can reliably take responsibility. This consistency will carry far more weight than occasional bursts of involvement. 

You may also need to communicate clearly about your availability. If work or other commitments limit your time, be honest and then commit to what you can realistically sustain. For example, you might not be able to attend every school event, but you can commit to handling bedtime every night or being the one to check homework. 

Consistency over time demonstrates to both your wife and your children that you are invested not only in making decisions, but in living out the daily responsibilities that those decisions create. Trust is rebuilt when words and actions align, and when your involvement becomes something that can be relied upon without reminder or negotiation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Qur’an at Surah Al Nisa (4), verse 19: 

‘….And cohabit with them with the positivity (of kindness), for if you dislike them, then perhaps it may be that in your (tolerance to the) dislike of something, may cause for you (to receive) something even better from Allah (Almighty).’ 

This Verse is a reminder that partnership within marriage requires active kindness and presence, even in daily matters that may feel small. Consistency in sharing responsibility is part of that kindness. 

The Prophetic Model: Small Acts of Care 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabi that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family.’ 

[Mishkat al-Masabih,13:170] 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ did not confine his involvement to moments of leadership alone; he engaged in serving his family in their daily lives, showing that true leadership includes small acts of care. 

By taking ownership of consistent, everyday responsibilities, you honour both your wife’s trust and your child’s need for steady presence. Over time, these small but consistent contributions will not only rebuild trust but also align your parenting with the Prophetic example of kindness and responsibility within the family. The family also knows in this way that they are all united together and treating each family member with kindness within the family also keep the family intact.