How to Show Love That Reaches Your Child’s Heart 

Parenting Perspective 

Love Is Experienced Through Presence and Affection 

When a child asks, ‘Do you love me?’ it is not usually a question about food, clothing, or shelter. Rather, it is their way of checking whether they are seen, valued, and emotionally connected to you. Providing material is vital, but for a child’s heart, love is experienced through presence, attention, and affection. 

Focus on Small, Meaningful Moments 

You can begin by focusing on small but meaningful moments of connection. When your child speaks, pause what you are doing and look into their eyes. When you say goodnight, add a hug or a few tender words. When they succeed or even when they fail, use phrases like ‘I love you no matter what’ or ‘I am glad Allah chose me to be your parent.’ These verbal and physical reassurances often speak louder to a child’s heart than any provision of material needs. 

Learn Their ‘Love Language’ 

It can also help to learn what makes your child feel loved most deeply. Some children crave words, others value time together, while others need touch or encouragement. Experiment with different ways of showing affection and notice which ones bring them comfort and security. This does not require grand gestures, but rather consistency in offering love in the way they best understand it. 

Love Is More Than Duty 

By balancing your provision with emotional presence, you teach your child that love is more than duty; it is a bond of mercy and tenderness that they can rely upon. 

Spiritual Insight 

Love and Mercy Are Essential Acts of Faith 

In Islam, love and mercy between parents and children are seen as essential acts of faith, not just optional extras. 

Affection and Mercy Strengthen Bonds 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’  

While this verse speaks about spouses, it highlights the principle that love is not only to be felt but also to be shown through affection and mercy. This principle extends to parent-child relationships, reminding us that bonds of care are strengthened by emotional warmth. 

Whoever Does Not Show Mercy Will Not Be Shown Mercy 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was a deeply affectionate father and grandfather. It is recorded in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Book 20, Hadith 1, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson Al-Hasan ibn Ali (RA). A companion, Al-Aqra ibn Habis, said that he had never kissed his children. The holy Prophet ﷺ responded: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

This shows that even though children may know their parents provide for them, what nourishes their hearts is love expressed openly. 

When you answer your child’s question with affection, words of reassurance, and tender actions, you are not only calming their heart but also fulfilling a sunnah of mercy. Over time, they will learn that your love is constant and encompassing, both in what you give and in how you connect.