Parenting Perspective 

It is very natural to feel awkward when trying to practise something you did not grow up with. Many fathers today are trying to change inherited patterns, and showing affection openly can feel unfamiliar. The important thing is not to wait until it feels perfectly natural, but to start small and let sincerity grow through consistency. 

Begin with simple gestures that do not overwhelm you or your sons. This might be placing your hand on their shoulder when you greet them, giving a warm smile when they share something, or using their name with gentleness. These actions communicate love without needing long words or dramatic expressions. Over time, they will become easier for you and meaningful for them. 

Affection is Not Only Physical 

Remember that affection is not only physical. Listening attentively, showing interest in their world, and speaking with respect are also forms of love. For example, when your son tells you about his schoolwork or a game he enjoys, respond with curiosity instead of judgement. That moment of engagement builds the same emotional connection as a hug or kiss. 

If your sons are young, you can begin by joining in playful moments, such as reading together or sharing light jokes. If they are older, respect their comfort levels but still find ways to be present, such as asking about their day at bedtime. The sincerity of your effort matters more than the form. When your children feel you are genuine, they will receive your affection even if it is expressed in ways that feel new to you. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This Verse reminds us that affection and mercy are not optional extras but divine qualities that Allah has placed within relationships. If love and compassion are central to marriage, they must also flow into parenting. Fathers who express mercy to their children are not showing weakness but are fulfilling a divine responsibility. 

The Prophetic Model: Expressing Love is a Strength 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson Al Hasan while Al Aqra ibn Habis remarked that he had ten children and never kissed any of them. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

[Al Adal Al Mufrad,19:10] 

This hadith makes clear that expressing love is a strength, not a weakness. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself, despite being a leader and warrior, showed tenderness to children. He showed affection to children by spending time with them and playing with them.  

Therefore, when you show affection to your sons, you are following the example of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and embodying mercy that Allah loves. Even if it feels awkward at first, the intention and effort to nurture them with kindness is what brings barakah. Start gently, be consistent, and trust that sincerity will grow in your heart and in theirs. In this way, you will overcome discomfort, honour your role as a father, and give your sons the emotional safety they need to flourish.