How to Show a Child That Making Amends is Part of Apologising 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often believe that simply saying ‘sorry’ is enough to resolve a conflict, but true reconciliation requires action. Teaching them that making amends is an essential part of an apology helps them to understand the meaning of responsibility and the importance of actively repairing relationships. 

Explain That Apology is More Than Just Words 

Communicate this concept to your child in a clear and simple way. You could say, “Saying you are sorry is the first important step, but we also need to try to fix what happened.” This shows them that a genuine apology is often a two-step process: words plus action. 

Encourage Practical and Restorative Actions 

If your child has spilt a drink, guide them to fetch a cloth and help clean it up. If they have hurt someone’s feelings, suggest they offer a kind gesture, such as a hug, sharing a favourite toy, or drawing a picture for that person. These small, practical acts help to demonstrate that an apology is a tool for healing and making things better. 

Use Everyday Examples to Illustrate 

Point out situations in your daily life where this principle is in action. You might say, “Remember when Daddy accidentally broke that plate? He fixed it with glue afterwards. That was his way of showing he was sorry.” Linking an apology to a visible act of repair helps children to grasp the concept much more quickly. 

Model the Principle in Your Own Life 

When you apologise for a mistake, make sure to follow it up with a restorative action yourself. For example, “I am sorry that I was late to pick you up from your friend’s house. Let us spend some extra time together now to make up for it.” This demonstrates that a sincere apology includes making an effort to put things right. 

By consistently teaching that words must be supported by restorative actions, you help your child to see an apology as a meaningful and powerful way to restore trust and show kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that when a wrong has been committed, it should be followed by a positive action to repair the damage. In the same way that sincere repentance requires turning back to Allah Almighty with righteous deeds, apologies offered to people should be demonstrated through efforts that heal and restore the relationship. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 135: 

‘And when those people who have committed immoral actions, or wronged themselves; (they should) remember Allah (Almighty), and then ask for forgiveness for their sins; and who can forgive their sins except Allah (Almighty), and do not intentionally continue to persist on what (wrong) you have done.’ 

This verse reminds us that true repentance involves not only seeking forgiveness but also actively ceasing wrongful behaviour and changing one’s ways. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught the importance of following a bad deed with a good one. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1987, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Have Taqwa of Allah wherever you are and follow an evil deed with a good one to wipe it out, and treat the people with good character.’ 

This teaches us that our mistakes should be followed by corrective, positive actions, which prove our sincerity and help to protect our relationships. By linking the act of apologising to the act of making amends, children learn that saying sorry alone is often incomplete. Repairing the harm with good deeds mirrors the core Islamic teaching of combining repentance with righteous actions, which helps them to grow into compassionate and responsible individuals.