How to Say ‘I Love You’ When It Feels Awkward 

Parenting Perspective 

Children Thrive on Clear Expressions of Love 

Many parents experience a sense of hesitation or awkwardness when it comes to saying ‘I love you’ out loud, especially if they themselves were not raised in an environment where affection was openly verbalised. However, children thrive on clear and consistent expressions of love, both in action and in words. When a child hears it directly, it provides them with reassurance that is different from what service, provision, or even physical care can give. 

Start Small and Be Gradual 

To overcome the barrier, it helps to start small and gradual. If saying the words feels difficult, you can begin by adding loving phrases into daily routines: ‘I am so glad you are my child,’ or ‘I like spending time with you.’ Over time, these expressions become more natural, and saying ‘I love you’ will no longer feel forced. Pairing the words with gentle actions like a hug, a smile, or shared laughter helps bridge the gap between verbal affection and emotional comfort. 

Showing Love Does Not Diminish Authority 

It is also important to remember that showing love does not diminish authority or discipline. Children can hold both: a sense of respect for their parents’ guidance and the security of knowing they are deeply loved. By practicing consistent verbal affirmation, you give them a model for how to express affection in their own lives and future relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Expressing Love Is a Prophetic Example 

Islam places great value on expressing love, and the example of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provides guidance in this matter. He not only demonstrated care through service and teaching but also expressed affection openly. 

Affection Is a Form of Mercy 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 5, Hadith 50, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson Al Hasan ibn Ali (RA) while Al Aqra’ ibn Habis was present. Al Aqra’ remarked, ‘I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them.’ The Prophet ﷺ replied: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

This shows that affection, including physical and verbal expressions of love, is a form of mercy that children are entitled to. 

Affection Is a Sign of Divine Mercy 

Furthermore, Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Maryam (19), Verse 96: 

‘Indeed, those people who have believed, and have undertaken virtuous actions; the One (Allah Almighty) Who is Most Beneficent shall designate for them, His absolute affection.’  

This verse highlights that affection is a sign of divine mercy and sharing it within our families is part of embodying faith. 

When you say ‘I love you’ to your children, you are not only strengthening your bond but also reflecting the mercy that Islam teaches us to live by. In this way, your words become a means of nurturing their hearts and aligning your parenting with the prophetic example.