How to Respond When One Sibling Hits Another 

Parenting Perspective 

Both Children Are Watching 

When physical harm happens between siblings, a parent often feels pulled in two directions: protecting the one who is hurt and correcting the one who has caused harm. Both needs are real, and both children are watching carefully how you respond. 

Prioritise Safety and Comfort 

The priority should be safety and comfort. Attending to the injured child shows that violence does not bring closeness or attention, and it reassures the hurt child that you are their protector. At the same time, it is important not to ignore the child who lashed out. Once the hurt child is calmed, gently but firmly turn to the other child and set a clear boundary: ‘We do not hit in this family. If you are upset, there are other ways to show it.’ Keeping your tone calm avoids feeding further anger. 

Guide Them Towards Repair 

Balance also comes through fairness. While discipline is necessary, it should not be done in a way that shames the child or labels them as ‘the bad one.’ Instead, guide them towards repair. Encourage an apology but also help them find better ways to express frustration next time. This teaches responsibility without disconnecting love. 

Consistency Matters More Than One Moment 

Over time, consistency matters more than one moment. If a parent consistently comforts without favouritism, disciplines without harshness, and restores connection with both children, the home becomes a place where justice and mercy live side by side. 

Spiritual Insight 

Stand Firm in Justice 

Islam teaches that justice and mercy must be held together. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 8: 

‘You who are believers, become steadfast (in your devotion) to Allah (Almighty), corroborating all of that which is just; and never let your hatred of any nation prevent you from being just, – let justice prevail….’ 

This verse reminds us that fairness is not optional. A parent who comforts the one who is wronged and corrects the one who harms is practising justice in the home. Both children see that love does not erase accountability, nor does discipline erase compassion. 

True Strength Is Self-Control 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Book 78, Hadith 141, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes others with his strength, but the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.’  

This guidance shows that true strength is not in striking out, but in restraint. Parents can use such teachings to guide children away from physical reactions and towards self-control as a form of real strength. 

By combining comfort with calm correction, you reflect both justice and mercy. This way, your children grow to understand that love is secure, fairness is consistent, and that anger must be guided by the values Allah has set for us.