Parenting Perspective 

Breaking a promise to remain calm can be deeply discouraging for both you and your child. When you have vowed not to yell but find that you have done so, your child may feel confused, hurt, or mistrustful of your word. The way you repair the situation afterwards matters far more than the mistake itself, as it provides a powerful lesson in honesty, responsibility, and resilience. 

Acknowledge the Broken Promise 

Begin by clearly and calmly admitting where you went wrong. You could say, “I made a promise that I would not yell, and I broke it. I am truly sorry.” This direct honesty shows your child that you take your own words seriously and are willing to be held accountable for them. 

Rebuild Safety with Reassurance 

Let your child know that your emotional struggle was not a reflection of their worth. A statement like, “I should not have shouted. You are so important to me, and I am going to keep working on being calmer,” reassures them that they are loved and secure, even when discipline or correction is needed. 

Explain Your Commitment to Improve 

Children need to see that an apology is connected to a genuine desire to change. Briefly share your plan for how you will handle things differently in the future. For example, “Next time I feel myself getting angry, I will try to take a deep breath before I speak.” This demonstrates that repairing a mistake involves active learning and effort, not just repeating words. 

Model Healthy Self-Compassion 

After you have apologised, it is important to avoid expressing excessive guilt in front of your child. Instead, let them see that mistakes can become valuable opportunities for growth. You might say, “I am still learning how to be patient, just like you are. We can both keep practising together.” This frames mistakes as a normal part of life, not as failures. 

By repairing the relationship with honesty and demonstrating a clear intention to improve, you not only restore your child’s trust but also teach them a powerful lesson in how to handle their own future mistakes with responsibility and hope. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, making mistakes does not diminish our worth. What truly matters is the sincerity with which we admit our faults, seek forgiveness, and strive to do better. This principle applies directly to parenting: yelling may happen, but repairing the relationship with humility brings blessings (barakah) and peace back into the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 70: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.’ 

This verse reminds us that Allah Almighty values sincere repentance so much that He can transform our mistakes into opportunities for goodness, provided they are followed by genuine effort and righteous deeds. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that controlling anger is a powerful act of worship. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2493, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever suppresses his anger when he is able to act upon it, Allah will call him before the heads of creation on the Day of Judgement and let him choose from the wide-eyed maidens whomever he wishes.’ 

This teaches us that restraining anger carries an immense reward and that self-control is far more valuable and honourable than lashing out in a moment of frustration. By apologising after yelling and showing a clear plan to improve, parents model the vital Islamic value of tawbah (sincere repentance). Children learn from this example that breaking a promise is not the end of the story; it is the acts of repair, forgiveness, and sincere effort that truly matter. This nurtures their trust in the family and deepens their faith in the boundless mercy of Allah Almighty.