How to Reclaim Yourself When Motherhood Feels Heavy 

Parenting Perspective 

This is a deeply tender question, and it begins with this truth: feeling stretched, lost or dulled by the demands of motherhood does not make you a failing parent, it makes you human. When your child notices sadness in your face, it is not necessarily a sign of brokenness. It might be a quiet indicator that you have been putting everyone else first for too long. 

Small Acts of Reconnection 

To reclaim yourself, begin with small, consistent acts of reconnection. Ask yourself gently: What did I once enjoy that felt like me? It might be something as small as walking in silence, reading in the sun, or preparing a meal for beauty, not duty. Reclaiming does not require escaping your life but it requires folding your identity back into it. 

Let Their Question Guide You 

Let your child’s question guide you, not shame you. They are not asking you to be endlessly cheerful, but to be emotionally available. When they see you doing something that brings you joy, they learn that motherhood includes womanhood, and that emotional honesty is part of love, not a failure of it. 

Name Your Feelings 

Consider naming your feelings with your child in age-appropriate ways. ‘I was a little tired earlier, but I am glad to be with you now.’ This models emotional literacy and offers connection, not confusion. Children sense what is unspoken, but what is spoken teaches them resilience. 

Reclaiming the lost parts of yourself will not happen all at once. But every moment you prioritise meaning, even quietly, you are stitching yourself back into your own story, not just as a parent, but as a soul. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah does not require you to erase yourself in the service of others. In fact, your well-being is part of your Amanah. 

The Divine Rhythm of Hardship and Ease 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), verses 5–6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

This repeated assurance is not simply about outcomes, it is about rhythm. Difficulty and ease move together. The emotional weight of motherhood is real, but Islam encourages you to hold hope, not just hold on. 

The Prophetic Model: Your Self Has a Right Over You 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, your own self has a right over you. ‘

[Sahih al Bukhari, 6139] 

This Hadith is a profound reminder that self-care is not selfishness. It is a recognition of your soul’s right to be nourished. When you honour your emotional needs, you are not stepping away from motherhood. You are stepping more fully into it, as a whole and emotionally responsive human being. 

There is mercy in acknowledging your own sorrow. There is growth in choosing to tend to it. And there is barakah in returning to yourself, not as who you were before motherhood, but as who you are now, with depth, struggle, and purpose.