How to Rebuild Trust When Your Daughter is Scared of Your Anger 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child expresses fear of a parent’s anger, it is a moment to pause and reflect with humility rather than despair. Her words show honesty and courage, which means she still hopes for closeness with you. Repairing this trust requires consistency, openness, and gentleness over time. The anger you show her is causing a hindrance in your relationship with your daughter.  

Begin with Acknowledgement 

Begin with acknowledgement. Tell your daughter that you understand your anger frightened her, and that you want to work on responding more calmly. This validates her feelings and reassures her that her voice matters. An apology, when sincere, strengthens rather than weakens parental authority, because it shows a child that accountability is part of true leadership. 

Next, rebuild trust through small, steady actions. This may include lowering your voice intentionally when you feel irritation or stepping away for a moment to calm yourself before returning to the conversation. When she sees you managing your emotions differently, her sense of safety with you will gradually return. 

Create Moments of Warmth 

Create moments of warmth outside correction. Share positive attention during ordinary times, such as meals or walks, so her memory of you is not only linked to discipline. This balance of connection and correction helps her know she is loved unconditionally, even when she makes mistakes. 

Finally, if you do slip, repair quickly. Acknowledge it, apologise, and explain what you will try differently next time. Over time, your daughter will learn that mistakes, including yours, can be followed by growth and reconciliation. This helps her feel secure in the relationship and teaches her how to handle her own shortcomings with responsibility rather than fear. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that strength lies in controlling anger, not unleashing it. To express anger is the begining of fights and choas.  

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), verses 133–134: 

‘And compete to seek forgiveness from your Sustainer, and to the Gardens (of Paradise) the width of which (is equivalent to) the layers of trans-universal existence and the Earth; prepared for those who have attained piety. Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

These Verses remind us that restraining anger and choosing forgiveness are qualities beloved to Allah Almighty. By practising calmness, especially with your child, you are striving for a quality that draws you nearer to His mercy. 

The Prophetic Model: Gentleness Opens Doors 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah is gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants through gentleness what He does not grant through harshness.’ 

[Sunan Ibn Majah,33:32] 

This hadith highlights that gentleness opens doors that anger cannot. When you soften your approach and rebuild your daughter’s trust through kindness, you are embodying the prophetic way.  

Repairing trust is not about erasing the past but showing, through consistent effort, that love, and safety outweigh fear. By combining self-control with gentleness, you guide your daughter to see discipline as care rather than threat, and in doing so, you strengthen both her heart and your bond with her.