How to Rebuild Trust When an Apology Is Not Enough 

Parenting Perspective 

Pair Apologies With Consistent Action 

When you apologise to your child, you are already taking a powerful step towards rebuilding trust. However, children often need more than words to believe that love is secure after a harsh moment. Trust is restored through consistent actions over time. A parent can show this by pairing apologies with steady demonstrations of warmth and reliability. For example, after apologising, you might engage in a small act of closeness such as reading together, sharing a meal, or giving a gentle hug. These gestures help your child reconnect emotionally and understand that your love remains steady. 

Show Them You Are Trying to Grow 

Another important part of rebuilding trust is preventing the same harshness from repeating often. While no parent can avoid mistakes entirely, showing your child that you are making real efforts to stay calm helps them feel safer. You might let your child know, ‘I am learning to handle my feelings better, and I will keep trying.’ This shows them that your love includes striving to grow for their sake. 

Reassure Them That Discipline and Love Coexist 

Children also need to see that your care for them does not vanish in moments of conflict. Even when discipline is needed, pair it with reassurance: ‘I did not like what you did, but I still love you.’ Over time, these consistent reminders help a child believe that love is stronger than anger and that mistakes do not break the bond between parent and child. 

Spiritual Insight 

Gentleness Strengthens Bonds 

In Islam, mercy and forgiveness are central values, especially within the family. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you; so, then pardon them, and ask for their forgiveness (from Allah Almighty); and consult them in all matters (of public administration)….’ 

This Verse reminds us that even in leadership, gentleness strengthens bonds while harshness pushes hearts away. A parent, as the guide of their children, rebuilds trust by returning to mercy and compassion after mistakes. 

Show Mercy to Be Shown Mercy 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al-Mufrad, Book 19, Hadith 10, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’  

This hadith shows that mercy is not a weakness but a reflection of true strength and faith. By showing mercy to your child after a moment of harshness, you are teaching them that Allah’s mercy is greater than anger and that love endures even when emotions are tested. 

When your child sees both your apology and your ongoing efforts to be gentle, they will learn that love is not undone by anger. Instead, it is mercy, patience, and forgiveness that shape a lasting bond.