How to Reassure a Teen When Younger Siblings Get More Play 

Parenting Perspective 

Teenagers Need a Different Kind of Attention 

It is common for teenagers to feel overlooked when parents naturally give more visible playtime to younger children. While small children demand physical presence, teenagers often need a different kind of attention, one that affirms their growing independence and maturity. If a teenager sees you laughing, playing, and engaging more with younger siblings, it can easily feel like favouritism, even if that is not your intention. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings 

The first step is to acknowledge their feelings without dismissing them. A parent can say, ‘I see why you feel that way. The younger ones need more playtime, but you need me in different ways, and I want to be here for you too.’ This validates their emotions rather than arguing against them. 

Carve Out Special One-on-One Moments 

It also helps to carve out moments that are special just for them, even if they are brief. Teenagers value quality over quantity. A meaningful conversation before bedtime, asking about their interests, or inviting them into adult responsibilities like decision-making are powerful ways to show that your bond is just as important, even if it looks different. 

Make the Difference in Attention Explicit 

You can also make the difference in attention explicit but reassuring. Explain that younger children need help with basic play and routine, while with them you can share deeper trust, advice, or companionship. By doing so, you are showing them that their stage of life is valued, not neglected. 

Focus on Consistency and Respect 

Finally, avoid overcompensating with forced play that does not feel natural. Teenagers quickly sense when efforts are not genuine. Instead, focus on consistency, respect, and intentional one-to-one time. This combination communicates that your love is steady, even if it is expressed differently across ages. 

Spiritual Insight 

Fairness and Love Must Be Upheld 

Children at any age long for reassurance that love and fairness are upheld. Islam provides guidance on this matter. 

Fear Allah and Be Just With Your Children 

It is recorded in Sahih Al Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’  

This highlights that parental fairness is not only an emotional need but also a spiritual responsibility. Fairness does not mean giving identical attention, but ensuring each child feels valued and cared for in a way that meets their unique needs. 

True Worth Is Not Based on Comparisons 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘…Indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous...’  

This reminds us that worth is not determined by age, status, or how much time one receives, but by the values of Taqwa and sincerity. A parent can use this to teach a teenager that their maturity allows for a different kind of closeness, one that trusts them to handle responsibility and spiritual growth. 

By openly acknowledging their feelings, showing fairness through intentional presence, and connecting your approach to the Islamic principle of justice and compassion, you restore their trust. They will gradually learn that while love may look different across ages, it is never diminished.