How to Protect Your Kids From a One-Sided Marriage Model 

Parenting Perspective 

You Have the Power to Interrupt the Pattern 

It is very valid to be concerned about the messages children absorb from what they see in the home. Children learn not only from what is said to them but also from what they observe daily. If they repeatedly see their mother stretched thin while others do not step in, they may grow to think this imbalance is normal. The good news is that you have the power to interrupt this pattern. 

Model Balance and Self-Respect 

One way to protect your children from internalising this message is to model balance and self-respect. When they see you setting healthy limits, such as saying, ‘I need a short break before I can help with this,’ they learn that giving endlessly is not the only way to love. In fact, they will see that boundaries allow you to give more meaningfully. 

Make Support Visible to Your Children 

Another step is involving your spouse or other family members in ways that are visible to your children. Even if the support is small, such as their father handling bedtime or preparing a meal, acknowledge it aloud so your children register that care is shared. This way, they grow up seeing teamwork rather than one parent carrying all the weight. 

Talk About Fairness and Cooperation 

It is also important to speak to your children in age-appropriate ways about fairness and cooperation. For example, you might say, ‘In a family, everyone has a role, and it is important that we all help each other.’ This reinforces that love is not only about giving but also about supporting and valuing one another. 

Plant the Idea of Mutual Respect 

By making these small but deliberate changes, you are planting the idea in their hearts that a healthy family honours both parents’ efforts, and that respect goes hand in hand with love. 

Spiritual Insight 

Marriage Is Built on Mutual Affection and Mercy 

Islam provides a clear framework for balance within family life. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.’ 

This Verse shows that marriage is built on mutual affection and mercy, not on one-sided sacrifice. If children see mercy expressed as shared responsibility, they will internalise the correct lesson about family life. 

Goodness Is Measured by How You Treat Your Family 

It is recorded in Mishkat al-Masabih, Book 13, Hadith 170, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.’  

This Hadith makes clear that goodness is measured by how one treats their family, not only through financial provision but through emotional and practical support. When children witness fairness and kindness between parents, they learn that this is the prophetic example to follow. 

By intentionally modelling balance and gently bringing Islamic reminders into your family life, you can protect your children from absorbing harmful patterns and instead teach them that true love in a family is built on mutual respect, shared responsibility, and mercy.