How to Parent Your Older Child When You Are Pregnant and Sick

Parenting Perspective 

When your body is drained from nausea, hormonal shifts, or sheer exhaustion, even the sound of your name, ‘Mummy!’, can feel like too much. And yet, your older child continues to seek you out with their endless energy and open heart. That disconnect between how much you want to give and how little you can give is emotionally heavy. 

But here is a powerful truth: Your presence does not need to be perfect to be deeply loving. Your child does not need a high-energy version of you to feel emotionally safe. What they need is to feel chosen, even when you are operating at 30%. Love can be slow. Love can lie on the couch. Love can whisper instead of sing. 

Gentle Ways to Stay Connected When Your Body Needs Rest 

Use ‘softer versions’ of your rituals

If you usually do a bedtime story, try telling it while lying down with the lights off. If you typically play on the floor, invite your child to ‘draw stories’ next to you while you rest. Let your body stay still while your words, your glances, and your smiles do the work. 

Give emotional reassurance in small doses

Even a five-second squeeze of their hand, a soft forehead kiss, or a whisper of ‘You are my favourite part of today’ fills their cup. These micro-moments build emotional safety that lasts longer than long play sessions. 

Be honest without burdening

Say: ‘Mummy feels a little sick right now, but I still love spending time with you. Let us rest together.’ This teaches your child that love does not disappear when comfort does. 

Create a special ‘pregnancy routine’

Let your child help fetch water, rub your hand, or choose your snack. Involve them gently in your care, it fosters closeness and gives them a small sense of purpose during this transition. 

Forgive yourself daily

On some days, your only win might be keeping everyone fed and safe. That is still parenting and devotion. Be kind to yourself for showing up while growing a human being inside you. 

By slowing down, simplifying connection, and choosing presence over performance, you protect the emotional thread between you and your child, even while your strength is low. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours effort over image, and never more so than in moments of physical vulnerability. Pregnancy is not just a biological process. It is a deeply spiritual state, recognised in both pain and reward. 

A Reminder That Your Hidden Struggles Are Seen 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), verse 14: 

“….His mother carried him (in pregnancy exposing her to) weakness upon weakness…” 

This Verse reminds us that Allah Almighty sees the hidden struggles of motherhood, from the first wave of nausea to the last push of labour. Every moment of sickness borne with patience is recorded. And that includes the moments when you lie still, parenting from the pillow. 

The Prophetic Model: The Sanctity of Maternal Sacrifice 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“A woman who dies during pregnancy or childbirth is a martyr.” 

[Musnad Ahmad, 22265] 

This hadith reflects the sanctity of maternal sacrifice. Your suffering is not forgotten neither is your hardship empty. And the compassion you extend to your older child, even when you feel too sick to speak, is written in your favour. 

The days when you cannot get up, and it is difficult to manage everything, remember that you are still parenting. With every soft glance, every tired smile, and every breath you use to stay gentle, you are still weaving love. And Allah Almighty is closer to you in those quiet, aching moments than you can imagine.