How to Parent an Easy-Going and a Sensitive Child 

Parenting Perspective 

Equal Love Does Not Mean Identical Methods 

You are not alone in this experience. Most parents find that their children respond differently to the same approach, and this can feel like walking a tightrope between fairness and flexibility. When one child is more easy-going and the other more emotionally reactive or sensitive, it can create an internal pressure to ‘treat them the same’, but equal love does not mean identical methods. 

Notice How Each Child Receives Correction 

What matters most is that each child feels safe, respected, and understood. That requires a parent to notice how their child receives correction and affection. For the easy-going child, gentle correction might be enough, but if they are often overlooked because they are ‘low maintenance,’ they may begin to feel unnoticed. For the more sensitive child, firm correction may feel overwhelming, even if the content is fair. 

Deliver Discipline With Emotional Presence 

To create balance, discipline must be delivered with emotional presence, not just rules. Before correcting, ask yourself: How will this land on this particular child’s heart? Then adjust your tone, timing, or method accordingly, not because one child deserves more softness or strictness than the other, but because you are seeking a path that is effective and emotionally safe for each. 

Be Transparent With Your Children 

At the same time, be transparent with your children. You might say, ‘I know I speak to you both in different ways sometimes. That is because I want to make sure you each understand and feel okay inside. My love for you is the same, always.’ This kind of reassurance helps prevent the sensitive child from feeling targeted and the easy-going child from feeling overlooked. 

The Goal Is Consistent Security, Not Symmetry 

Your goal is not to create a perfect symmetry between children, but a consistent sense of security. Children flourish when they feel their parents understand them and adjust with care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Responding Justly to Differences Is a Form of Mercy 

Islamically, we are reminded that people are created with different natures, and that responding justly to those differences is a form of mercy and wisdom. 

Differences Are by Divine Design 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous.’  

This Verse reminds us that differences are by divine design. Knowing and honouring those differences is part of living with Taqwa. In parenting, this means recognising that what works for one child may not work for another, and that adapting your approach with fairness is not inconsistency, but a form of justice. 

Fairness Means Meeting Unique Needs 

It is also recorded in Sunan an-Nasai, Book 31, Hadith 16, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Treat your children fairly.’  

This hadith is often misunderstood to mean identical treatment. But fairness, in practice, means meeting each child’s unique needs with equal sincerity, respect, and compassion. 

By being attuned to who your children are, rather than forcing them to fit into one standard, you are living out both parental wisdom and Islamic responsibility. Balance does not come from sameness, but from mercy guided by understanding.