How to Nurture Sibling Love and Prevent Envy 

Parenting Perspective 

Teach Empathy and Cooperation 

It is natural for siblings to compete with each other at times, whether for your attention, approval, or resources at home. What matters is how you, as a parent, respond in those moments. If rivalry is always met with comparison, harshness, or favouritism, it deepens envy. If it is met with guidance, fairness, and reassurance, it becomes an opportunity to teach empathy and cooperation. 

Separate Behaviour From Identity 

Start by separating behaviour from identity. Rather than labelling one child as ‘jealous’ or ‘unkind,’ point out the specific behaviour and explain why it hurts. Then invite both children to think about how they can rebuild closeness. For example, ‘When you pushed your sister away, it made her feel unwanted. What could you do to show her you care?’ This shifts the focus from rivalry to repair. 

Create Shared Goals 

Creating shared goals also reduces competitiveness. Involve your children in small tasks that require teamwork, such as tidying together or helping to prepare food. Praise them jointly when they succeed as a pair, so they learn that love and cooperation bring more joy than rivalry. 

Reassure Them That Love Is Multiplied 

Most importantly, reassure each child privately and openly that your love is not divided but multiplied. When children feel secure in your affection, they are less likely to view their sibling as a threat. Over time, this foundation helps them grow into protectors of each other, rather than competitors. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quranic Example of Envy 

The noble Quran teaches us about the destructive nature of envy through the story of Habil and Qabil. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verses 27–28: 

‘…So the (sacrifice) was accepted from one of them (i.e. Haabeel), and was not accepted from the other (i.e. Qaabeel); so (in jealousy and retaliation Qaabeel) said: “Surely, I will kill you;” (Haabeel) replied: “Indeed, Allah (Almighty) accepts (the sacrifice of those people) who seek to attain piety; if you were to raise your hands to kill me, I will not raise my hands (in retaliation) to kill you; as indeed, I am in awe (of the commandments of) Allah (Almighty), the Sustainer of the trans-universal existence”.’ 

This powerful reminder shows us that envy, if unchecked, can lead to destruction. At the same time, it highlights that righteousness, patience, and fear of Allah are the safeguards against such harm. 

Be Servants of Allah, Brothers 

It is recorded in Riyadh as-Salihin, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices against one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not undercut one another, but be, O servants of Allah, brothers.’ 

By teaching your children this Prophetic guidance early, you help them understand that envy is not only a family issue but also a spiritual danger. Encourage them to express gratitude for what Allah has given them and to make dua for their sibling’s good, reminding them that blessings increase with Shukr. 

When your children see that love for each other is both a protection for the family and a path to Allah’s pleasure, they will slowly learn to value siblinghood as a trust, not a competition. This steady reinforcement, from both your actions and their Deen, can replace rivalry with protectiveness and compassion.